Sitcom_Dad

Just an everyday Dad...Who makes sitcom worthy mistakes!

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Me to oldest “Have you brushed your teeth today?”

Oldest: “No! Well at least I’m being honest!”

Me: “Well yo breath stank! At least I’m being honest!”

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Youngest Daughter in the van last night in the way home…..

“Hey Mom and Dad!” She’s almost 8 mins you….

“Is D-I-C-K a bad word?”

Mom and Dad “Yes”

Youngest “ I thought so”

She keeps us on our toes and entertained!

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

@CynicalYet @MNPDNashville @ATFHQ I agree with this all I see is a headrest and seat where a person should be....even if leaning toward window you should see some sort of body outline! I was going to post something similar to this as well

[Very Baseball Moments @verymlb]

Jose Altuve's final regular season batting average is .219

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Having some beers tonight, life with the kids home for a while starts tomorrow!

I hope to use this opportunity for time to become active and provide content to aid in the assistance of laughter.
#staystrongparents #sitcomdad #shutin #dadelife #kids

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

I’m 37 years old eating Bagel Bites in the hallway while my children fall asleep. #havekidstheysaid #itllbefuntheysaid #gothefoktosleep

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Youngest: I can feel my heart beep!
#Iwillnevercorrecther #heartbeeps #dadlife

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

I love everything about this picture! Oldest made this today contains a message and a mistake! #learning #nevertrustafart #dadlife #humor #homerun #shart

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Grandpa wearing Harley Davidson bandana.

Daughter: “Grandpa you look like a pirate!”
#dadlife #harleydavidson #sheloveshim #SundayAfternoon

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Took oldest to doctor today hasn’t been feeling well...

Doctor: How regularly does she have bms?

Me: Usually every 2 to 3 days

Doc: Ok that’s good

Daughter to Doc: My Dad poops every day!!!!

#dadlife #laughter #kids #jokesfordays

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

“If you don’t go to bed right now no snacks tomorrow!” #dadlife #parentlies #parentlife

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

5 years 9 months....that’s how long it’s been since there has been a normal sleeping pattern....#overit #dadlife

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Some days you’re the bug.....Some days you’re the windshield....on to tomorrow

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

2 y/o: Mom can I whisper you a question?

Mom: Yes

2 y/o: I love you!

2 y/o: Dad can I whisper you a question?

Dad: Of course!

2 y/o: (long pause) I love.......Cheez It’s!
#dadlife #cheezits #thisgirl

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Parenting today has me like...#dadlife #whenwillitgeteasier

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Words of a 2 y...

Dad: How wa your day?

Daughter: I just tooted all day!

Dad: Oh really?

Daughter: Yup just tooted all day!

#cantmakeitupifitried #dadlife #tootedallday

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Kids these days, all they talk about Is how high they are getting on the swings! #dadlife #sohigh #lookathowhighimgetting

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

5 year old “But it’s boring doing things politely!

2 minutes later.... Screaming please someone help me! Looking for the 297th thing gone missing today.

Me inside head....How of your soul is accept to sell for your oldest daughter to take a nap?

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Note to future self.....Your children will never understand that 35 year old dad. Bumped Master P bourbons and lacs....whilst alone #dadlife

[Sitcom_Dad @Sitcom_Dad]

Flipped a water cup off mattress over crib rail! Only play I had! 1 hand free baby in other arm! #dadplayotheday #caughtit #AllStarGame2017