Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨

🫠Kinda cringey, kinda funny, maybe a little unhinged.🍤 An Elder Emo’s word vomit. 🤮 Full time ADHDer. 🍑 Views are my own. 💅🏻 She/Her.✨

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Still sayin “ya mama” to any question I don’t wish to answer 💅

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Who the fuck signed off on that @WholeFoods ad talking about “what yellow is” and put a fucking Asian kid in there?! 😤 I stg people are so oblivious sometimes… Do better!!

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

It’s like I wanna get a pedicure but I don’t want to get up and go. Can someone just take my feet to get serviced for me plz?

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Damn a bitch been gon for min

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

My sleep schedule is so fucked up and I’m not happy about it

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Just casually blowing up the Home Depot bathroom on a Wednesday morning ✨

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Why has it taken me this long to try gummy sharks? They are a delight!

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Did you know you can poop out gallstones? Don’t look it up, trust me.

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

It would be weird to get matching hoodies for me and my dogs, right? I shouldn’t invest $90 in this?

[omar @DripArab]

me whenever I’m right about something

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

I’m just going to say it — Sirens is a weird fucking show.

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

I never matured past the age of wanting to respond to everything with “yah mama”.

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

“In my mind, it’s easier to poop yourself than pee yourself” — my husband

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

I appreciate the new mean green commercial but that weird ass frog mascot’s got to go

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Like why is this realistic looking lion doing vocal runs? Unsettling.

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

It’s weird to think people had to come up with a realistic way to animate lions singing… 🧐Their mouths aren’t meant to move like that?? Obviously I am watching the new(er) lion king #MondayVibes

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

And to make matters worse I would’ve known he wasn’t a massage therapist if I had just looked at his link in bio! But I didn’t and sent it to my husband instead. And no— he doesn’t think that will help his sciatica in case you wondered.

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Can I just say how annoying it is I accidentally think one homo-erotic massage therapist is legit and now all I have is questionable homo-erotic content all over my algorithm 😭 He had an embroidered polo on!! I thought he was genuinely helping people! 😩

[Skimpy Shrimp🍤✨ @SkimpyShrimp]

Am I the only one that can hear it when someone’s had a nose job? Like when the person is speaking??