Kel Varnsen

Drunk driving on the information super highway. Ye best start believing in American Centuries of Humiliation goy, because yer in one

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

Taking a moment to formally disavow @realDonaldTrump and the people comprising the larger MAGA movement

Voted for this retard three times and each time I was effectively raped. I will never vote in an election again. America needs to totally collapse before it can be rebuilt

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@hoshizorarock

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@PenguinSix grass grows back you fucking retarded drug addict

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@KILLTOPARTY 11 year old that thinks Hogwarts is real and wife that immediately gets your daughter to hate you

This is a bonafide Chris Benoit situation

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

If Putin doesn't like the broguing on your shoes you mysteriously defenestrate out of an 11th story window

Trump is supposedly the next Hitler and he's just getting raped nonstop by hostile foreign operatives that have been installed as judges

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

NEW: Federal judge dismisses the Trump administration’s challenge to “sanctuary city” policies in New Jersey.

[The General @GeneralMCNews]

BREAKING: Colombia's newly elected president, De la Espriella, says one of his first acts will be to open an embassy in Jerusalem and renew a strategic alliance with Israel.

[Vials @hisbelovedsleep]

OWNED: Based teacher Mrs. Chud epically TROLLS woke student with foreign name

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

Insane that these judges and their enablers aren't just being blackbagged and lost in storage in Gitmo

The "American Experiment" has been a complete and total failure

[Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper]

BREAKING: Federal judge bars Trump from implementing proof of citizenship requirement to vote - AP

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

she triggers my vacuum till i decay

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@AlFromBayShore @QuintusCurtius Vinny Ocean was supposedly the inspiration for Tony, not sure how true that is.

A lot of DeCavalcante guys actually got convicted in part because they were caught on a wire talking about how the crimes they were committing in real life were just like the show

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@QuintusCurtius iirc David Chase said that the whole point of the series was to get you to hate Tony and co. and he was really resentful of the fans by the end since they were somehow still rooting for him.

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@Spooky3DPG @gorilla_rape Yes, it's a fucking pool. Let them sperg out and make fools of themselves, no normal person is sitting there cheering them on.

Instead now normal people get to see Trump mobilizing at lightning speed to defend a pool after he just got done losing another war in the Middle East

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@japan_nobunaga "I understood now. This was a sacred permission. For one meal, I was being told to put down my manners at the door. To eat the way a beast eats, without shame."

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I went to In-N-Out and ordered a cheeseburger. The cashier, a calm young woman named Destiny, asked me a question I did not expect.

"You want that Animal Style?"

I paused.

I did not know what this meant. But a samurai does not admit he does not know. So I answered with weight.

"...Animal Style."

"Cool. So that's mustard-grilled, extra spread, grilled onions, pickles. Yeah?"

I understood now. This was a sacred permission. For one meal, I was being told to put down my manners at the door. To eat the way a beast eats, without shame. I had waited my whole life for someone to give me this order.

"Yes," I said. "I will become the animal."

Destiny did not blink. "...Okay. You want your fries Animal Style too?"

I stopped. Even the potatoes?

"The potatoes also become animals?"

"I mean, they get cheese and sauce and grilled onions, so..."

"Then yes. Let the potatoes abandon their restraint as well."

"...Got it." She was the calmest woman I have ever met. "3x3, 4x4, or just the one?"

I did not know these numbers, but I knew a challenge when I heard one. "How many must I face?"

"It's, like, how many patties you want."

"How many is the most honorable?"

"...Four is a lot."

"Then four. A warrior does not ask for fewer."

She wrote it down without argument. A 4x4, Animal Style, with animal fries. She warned me once, kindly. "That's gonna be huge." I told her I was counting on it.

It arrived. It was a tower. Cheese and sauce ran down my hands the moment I lifted it. There was no clean way to eat it. There was no dignified way. That was the entire point.

I ate it like a beast. Both hands, no honor, grilled onion on my chin, and I have to be honest with you, it was the best thing I have ever put in my mouth.

For thirty years I have kept my manners at every table in the world.

They handed me a burger and told me to be an animal, and I have never felt so free.

So tell me, America.

The whole country knows the secret menu. What else are you hiding in plain sight?

And "Animal Style." Was I eating the animal, or finally becoming one?

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

George Floyd tragically passed away after crawling under Derek Chauvin's knee for warmth

[The Vigilant Fox 🦊 @VigilantFox]

Stephen A. Smith responds to Dr. Umar’s claim that Austin Metcalf “fell” onto Karmelo Anthony’s knife.

UMAR: “Austin fell onto Karmelo’s knife trying to attack him.”

SMITH: “21 [witnesses] were talked to… Nobody talked about Austin Metcalf falling into a knife!”

“I heard no evidence of Austin Metcalf falling into a knife… I don’t know where that comes from.”

“The penalty was [severe]… but that doesn’t give us a license to turn around and just come up with stuff.”

“Karmelo Anthony was quoted as saying to Austin Metcalf, ‘Put your hands on me and find out what’s going to happen.’”

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@JackPosobiec Having a picture of herself on a yacht

We know how you got on board, ladies.

[Amanita Virosa @AmanitaVirosa2]

He doesn't want you in his spaceship

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

is we getting clean energy

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: Trump is reportedly backing a $17.5 billion nuclear push aimed at speeding construction of 10 new Westinghouse reactors across the U.S.

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@FatBoii290 @DocStrangelove2 Patently false, official statistics omit black gang violence which accounts for the vast majority of mass shootings. Get back in the field boy

[Kel Varnsen @SkoomaZyn]

@hayasaka_aryan demiurge absolutely laughing his ass off right now