Slade Bleu

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

I can use chopsticks... If they have a rubber band, open & close automatically, and are a fork.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

He paid me to talk dirty and listen to him jerk off. Does that make me a call girl?

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Happy Fucking Birthday, Jackass

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Honesty isn't the best policy when "couldn't stop Q-tipping my ears bc it felt sooooo good" is your reason for being late to work.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Any place you don't leave is a prison.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

This time of year reminds me of when I shipped you a present even though you weren't talking to me....ah *memories.

*knife stabs

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

I don't want you staying up all night by yourself, so here's a few tweets to snuggle up with.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Oh you don't like my friends? I have the perfect solution. Buh-bye.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

It's crazy how some people don't like to have their integrity questioned week after week.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Did you know people buy unwashed socks and hosiery on ebay?! How disgusting!

I wonder how much these tights would go for?

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

@mattamat1cs ...and on twitter.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

My boob sweat smells like buttered popcorn, you know, in case anyone has a popcorn fetish.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Oh the days when I answered to no one but myself.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

I wish I had a place that was private from real life. No one keeps promises anymore.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Liars make the Internet go 'round.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Now I'm wondering, what exactly can you exchange money for without it being considered prostitution? Asking for my feet.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

A man offered me good money to let him smell my feet at the end of the workday. Wondering what line this goes on when I file taxes...?

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Nothing like driving to work only to drive back home again. I totally should have stayed in bed.

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

Who else wants a mind wipe ala Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

[Slade Bleu @SladeBleu]

The great lie that killed us and I'm still grieving.