Sleep Talkin' Man

My mild-mannered husband lives quite a colorful existence in his dreams.

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

Please welcome Hannah Ruth Lennard to the world! Can't wait to hear what STM thinks of her. I promise to start posting again soon. -Karen

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"Zombie rugby could be a lot better, but they keep passing their arms!"
[audio on http://t.co/zdTGuCIH]

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

FYI: This is it guys! Last day to enter to win a signed copy of Sleep Talkin' Man, the book! Contest on
http://t.co/s4ZgmXwQ

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"Next time I lend out my chest hair, it won't be to a dickface like you. You got it covered in lots of stuff. It'll take ages to clean up!"

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

FYI: Only 4 days left to enter the contest to win a signed copy of Sleep Talkin' Man, the book! Go to http://t.co/s4ZgmXwQ

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"Straw is for pussies, and sticks are for pricks. Bricks! It takes balls to use bricks. Big piggy balls. Respect to the third piglet."

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"I'll fucking give you stitches! Oop, nope, you win. Got me first."
[said the night after Adam's surgery]

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

ALSO: Shelf Awareness is running a contest in which you can win a signed copy of Sleep Talkin' Man, the book!
http://t.co/jbDO3L80

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"Good morning. I just wanted to be the first person to call you a twat. Enjoy your day."
[audio on http://t.co/zdTGuCIH]

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"The bagels have declared independence. The bakery is up in arms! There's a flour cloud enveloping everything! Don't trust the macaroons."

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"I'm the fucking center of the universe. Everything revolves around me. Astronomers can kiss my gorgeous ass."
http://t.co/zdTGuCIH

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"How am I?! I'm in a fucking hospital and I don't work here! Stupid question, how am I. Scalpel monkey!"
[said the night Adam had surgery]

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"Don't go there. That journey's gonna end with my fist in your face.— Oh! There we go, fist in face. You've arrived at your destination."

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"Of course I know where your eyes are. I just like staring at your tits. Thank you!"
[hear audio on http://t.co/zdTGuCIH]

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

[part 2] “... I'll fuck you up, mother-fucker."
[said after Adam discovered a lump that needed to be surgically removed]

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

[part 1] "Yeah, Lumpy, you wanna come mess with me in my house, you'd better come armed to the teeth and bring friends…”

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"I'm like medicine. Take me twice before going to bed. Warning: I WILL cause sexiness."
[audio and more on http://t.co/zdTGuCIH]

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"Me, fat? Think again, titty-fuck. I taught my muscles to be in a zen-like state of relaxation. Permanently."

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

Sleep Talkin' Man is now a BOOK! Find out why you MUST have it, where to get it, and how to win a FREE copy, at http://t.co/GkSEwDlc

[Sleep Talkin' Man @SleepTalkinMan]

"I don't care if Facebook says you've got friends. Don't believe everything you read."
[audio on http://t.co/zdTGuCIH]