Sleeptalking Bear

A documentation of the weird crap my boyfriend says to me in his sleep. #sleeptalking

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

“Me. Shmee touched my chum bucket.. Mr. Shmee can go fuck himself”

#sleeptalk #sleeping #whodat

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

“Its okay street bitch, I didn’t mean to”

#sleeptalk #what

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

“MM YES LOVELY LEGGIES HON HON HON”

#sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

"You're making a chart aren't you?? that's a bit extreme for you??"
I'm about to go get water and... a chart for what??
"oh fuck you got me there"
#sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

Can you pass me the water?
“But the water.. it comes from within you”
Okay Jesus I’ll get it myself

#sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

TV’s nothin like it used to be
“We’re not watching TV”
Well that explains it

#sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

“What is this??”
I’m holding your hand?
“Why???”
Bc I love you??
“I love you too but I don’t want to hold your hand ew”

#sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

“Kinky!! SHOEHORN!! BUTTHOLE?!!!!!”
#sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

Get off the sofa and go to bed it’s 1am

“AWESOME I have at least 3 hours of hard drugs left!!” #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

“All I’ve gathered from their interactions is that he really wants to go on holiday” #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

“I’m gonna have to go to all these shops and buy a daytime version of this game. It’ll be about rabbits and skunk” #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

Can you move? You’re literally taking up 7/8ths of the sofa?

“I’M ON THE TABLE. I’M OFF THE TABLE” #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

Hey can you pass me the laptray please?

“NO I HAVE TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT TOAST FIRST”

#sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

"Oh my god I just want to be a DADDY" #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

If Ryan Reynolds grew a beard, he could be a younger Russell Crowe #sleeptalk #beartrivia

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

"Coffee. The only brown thing I like more than Samuel L Jackson" #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

"Hmmm. Testicle chin."
-rips massive fart-

......MORNING #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

-in a strong Irish accent- "where is the munch munch?? LEAD ME TOWARDS THE FOOD SACK" #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

"Where's the chicken??" In the freezer..? "Okay, phew!" #sleeptalk

[Sleeptalking Bear @SleeptalkingB]

"I've forgotten how to say fridg friiidg" fridge? "No friiiidgi" frigid? "Yes that's the one! Thank you!" glad we cleared that up #sleeptalk