Sizzle

|Avid Dodger and Cowboy fan|Better than your average SoundCloud rapper|What should I bitch about today?|

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a stranger will rename you in a single breath, and you are simply expected to come when called.

I went to eat at a busy restaurant. A young man at the front asked for my name, to mark my place in line. I gave it the weight it has carried for eight hundred years.

"Nobunaga."

He smiled, nodded, and wrote it down with great confidence. Then he read it back to me, to be sure he had honored it correctly.

"Perfect. Banana, party of one."

Banana. He had heard my name, held it a moment, and returned to me something rounder and more cheerful. To refuse the name a host gives is to refuse his welcome. I bowed. I was Banana now.

Then he handed me a small black disc, said it would "light up and buzz" when my table was ready, and turned to the next guest as though he had not just placed a living thing in my hands.

I held it in both palms, the way one holds a small sleeping beast that may wake. I found a place to stand. I waited, ready.

It woke.

It screamed. It flashed red. It leapt and shook in my hands like a captured spirit demanding release. A lesser man would have dropped it. I did not. I gripped it, steady, looked into its blinking lights, and told it, in a low voice, that its time had come. Then I carried it back to the host with both hands, the way one returns a hawk to its master.

He took it without looking and shouted across the entire room.

"BANANA! Party of one, your table's ready!"

A hundred strangers turned. I rose. I crossed that floor as Banana, spine straight, chin level, a man answering to his name. A child pointed at me. I gave the child a small bow. He had recognized me.

All through the meal they kept me. "How's it tasting, Banana?" "More water, Banana?" The check, when it came, said Banana, and thanked me for visiting. By the end the whole staff knew me. They waved as I left. "Night, Banana!"

So tell me honestly.

For eight hundred years my clan answered to one name. Tonight I answered to a fruit, calmed a screaming relic in my bare hands, and ate among people who were glad I came.

When the little disc lights up, is the table truly mine, or am I only keeping it warm for the next Banana?

Because I have already decided to return on Friday, and to ask, very humbly, for the same disc.

[dan campbell owns the bears @extramicrowave]

How badly do you think Chet wants to post a video of him eating the kool aid pineapples but cant because of the optics

[Baseball’s Greatest Moments @BBGreatMoments]

The 2008 Dodgers lineup with Manny 💥

[Ace Junior @SanPedroAce]

Since the start of the century (2001), 22 of 30 MLB teams have reached the WS at least once (73%)

No other pro US sports league has had ~75% of its league reach its championship since 2001.

Stop telling us MLB “needs more parity”.

It does not, at all.

[Vincent Samperio @vincesince91]

The Los Angeles Dodgers acquired Chris Taylor from the Seattle Mariners in exchange for Zach Lee.

[Sizzle @SlimJSizzle]

I'm still here for anik

[Unbiased Mets Fan @TheMetsX]

Edwin Diaz’s star Rooster on its way to kill another chicken

[Girls und Pantsu @ProfPantsu]

No. Im sick of the world catering exclusively to you day walkers. I don't even have 24/7 hour Walmart or McDonald's anymore.

[Rob. @Robfrfr]

They out here charging $20 for 8 wings. I don’t give a fuck about no aliens right now

[popstar benny ♪ ☆ @popstarbenny]

it taste like it

[Molly Morrison @mollyhannahm]

cj mccollum when he sees brunson on defense

[Dan Greenberg @StoolGreenie]

Rescinding the tech which basically admits Booker was right and then still fining him 😂

[Qsama bin Johnston @QsamaBJohnston]

Imagine if the Eagles picked up like 75% of their first downs with tush pushes and they gave Jalen Hurts the MVP for it.

That’s SGA.

[Sad Yu Darvish @SadYuDarvish]

Everyone screeching about Ohtani using an extra 30 seconds to warm up never sat through the intermission conducted between this mans pitches

[Transfer Portal @NCAAPortal]

In my mind every work week is a best of 5 and I’m just trying to win the series

[Jonathan  @iamjmart4]

The Dodgers will lose about 50-60 games this season and i WILL let every loss ruin my day

[Blake Harris @BlakeHHarris]

Ever since I was a kid I’ve wanted to see the Dodgers rock the blue during the season

These look even better than advertised and I think this is already a top 5 jersey in all of baseball

Whoever made this decision…. bravo

[dolo @doloyeung]

(cant pick up my gun because my inventory is full)

Stupid bitch wife: Unequip your candle

Me: I need to be able to see down there, moron

Stupid bitch wife: Ok, then unequip your sleeping cap

Me: God, you really don't know anything about investigating strange noises do you