The willingness to fight is more important then the ability to fight.
You would rather have a untrained man be happy to go downstairs and face the burglars with his wife upstairs then a jiu jitsus expert that shits his pants.
It’s the ability to override reason and just do it.
Sourround yourself with people who make you believe in a bigger version of yourself, not force you to adopt a smaller version of yourself to accommodate their smaller version of themselves.