Christopher Márquez

Cookie Thief. Pizza expert. I'm right, you're wrong.

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

@oroborous Trump is going to Veto this Bill if it can get enough votes in the Senate. There will be no winner in this War just a stalemate. If the U.S. cuts off all weapons sales to Ukraine, cut off Surveillance and all aid, no way Ukraine would be able to stop Russia. Don't kid yourself.

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

@Benleo Your 2 guests are a complete joke. Thank you for sharing the truth Ben! The "Media" is a serious joke.

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

If God really wanted us to be happy he would have only given us one religion.

[Cherye @Clanopath]

Are you gonna drink that? -First date questions.

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

Vodka doesn't care if toilet paper is stuck to your shoe.

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

The worst part about the end of February is having to take down all my Black History Month decorations.

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

I trust that you are smart enough to know how stupid you are.

[Harbinger One @Harbinger_one]

My standards are about as low as a worm's nut sack

[Faux Pelini @FauxPelini]

SUSPENSION TALLY:
Ray Rice (bludgeoning): 2 weeks
Bill Simmons (talking) 3 weeks
Josh Gordon (pot): 1 year
Roger Goodell (various): HAHAHAHA

[Cherye @Clanopath]

You can't touch this, is my favorite song ever written about my phone.

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

Took the batteries out of the smoke detector to use in my remote cause I would rather die in a fire than have to get up & change the channel

[Cherye @Clanopath]

Ask your doctor if ignoring all the warning signs is right for you.

[Mined Ova Matta @MinedOvaMatter]

I live in constant fear that one day it will actually rain men.

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

Hallmark needs to make a card that says "I unblocked you."

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

Unless you're blind, there's no excuse wearing sunglasses in doors, I'll just assume you're high, hungover, a douche, or all of the above.

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

Here’s The Anti-Redskins Commercial That Will Air During Tonight's NBA Finals https://t.co/BoE4KfsklZ

[Christopher Márquez @SlipNutsTM]

A lot of people struggle with humility, but not me.

[Donna T @sweetg35]

Life is short, make the good times last longer!

[Saucy Kensington @Book_Krazy]

Ways to end arguments with women:

5. Buy wine
4. Pour wine
3. Give her wine
2. Pretend to be dead
1. Be dead