Been saving time by typing :90 instead of 1:30 on the microwave. Unfortunately I just spent a significant portion of it typing this tweet to tell you about it. Pretty much a wash now. Back to my life I guess.
If I had a headcase kicker, I'd invest in a golf simulator-style practice net for the sideline. I'd rig it to tell him that everything would have been good from 65, but I'd also add enough variance in distance and placement feedback so as not to arouse suspicion. He'd never miss.
Couldn’t sleep last night so I counted sheep. Got to 8. Didn’t fall asleep, they just stopped showing up. I was up for hours waiting for the rest of them.
Just ran a 6:00 mile in a suit and tie and backpack in the Charlotte airport trying to make a connection. People cheered for me as I went. “Hey!” and “Slow down, moron!” they shouted. Doors were closed, but I still feel like a winner. You cannot break my spirit @AmericanAir.
Hey which one of you wise guys left the Fake Item Box on the highway? Mile marker 41 on I-75? Very funny… I got like 15 feet of air. That guy on a cloud had to come get me. My wife exploded.