sloppy tiger

I enjoy creating sub par jokes for pity favorites.

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

[Meeting her parents]
Well, I can see where your daughter gets her beauty. Sir, you are hot.

[Tyler Joseph @LongstrethTyler]

Hi yes I play Pokeman

[Tyler Joseph @LongstrethTyler]

Bae: come over
Trump: I cant ur parents are illegal immigrants
B: they're not home they're stealing American jobs
T:

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

*mechanic wipes his hands on a rag*
Well, there’s your trouble
*points to a lifetime of crippling depression and anxiety*

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

Friend: "I was about to send a rescue crew in there! Did ya fall in or something?"
Me: *covered in just a dumb amount of liquid* um no

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

You know those lists that predict your next action? Well what if
1) it doesn't work
2) you are questioning if it worked
3) so am I?
4) um

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

@AnOrangeSNES enjoy or don't!
https://t.co/IOjbwV03Om
https://t.co/7dTgRzqBhv

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

[Police stakeout]
"Ok we have to stay quiet and keep our eyes peeled"
*Putting away my portable grill and a t-bone steak* oh I get it

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

[Police stakeout]
"Ok we have to stay quiet and keep our eyes peeled"
*Putting away my portable grill and a t-bone steak* oh I get it

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

Rihanna: I'm gonna write a song about cake
Me: ah Ok, sounds good so fa- oh god wait what? Oh no

[Tim Anderson @TimetoAnderson]

How I feel after I shave

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

"Im breaking up with you"
Is it because of the candles around your pictur--
"Its because of the candles around my picture in the closet"

[sloppy tiger @Sloppy_Tiger]

[night at the bar]
Girl: Maybe we should go back to your house ;)
Guy from "Up": yeah probably not

[Cool Eric @OBiiieeee]

at the playground with my handsome son https://t.co/KkVQlgVhJ2

[أثرٌ طيّب @Jassar_80]

what is your favorite movie about lamb silence

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

[job interview]
job: hello
me: SHUT UP. wait no