Slowly, I am healing. Slowly, I am transforming the hurt, hate and pain into something useful. I've found feelings and thoughts I haven't seen in a very long time, this has been the darkest and enlightening period of my life. I've been sitting in physical silence and searching my darkest corners to understand what my darkness is because in the end, my darkness is still me. The suffering I've gone through is only my fault, I simply didn't love myself enough. It has nothing to do with him, I've always tried to help others heal (who didn't want to). It kept me from having to look within and heal myself. So, slowly...I am healing. Love always conquers all.
Love, always and forever. ~Smalls~❤️
Almost 16 years ago, I answered an ad on Craigslist for a little dog. She was not what I wanted, she wasn't pure-bred, she was almost a year old, she wasn't house-trained or even trained in basic obedience...But, I couldn't leave her where she was. Her replacement was already being coddled while I was told she wouldn't stay in the yard all day. At 13 lbs., she had no business being left outside all day...So, she came home with me and was a pain in my behind for years. She was stubborn, ornery, and just plain bad. But, I loved her with my whole heart for her whole life. She learned to sit and speak but couldn't be bothered learning any other foolish tricks humans wanted her to do. She finally learned to go potty outside and stay in the yard for appropriate small dog amounts of time. And now, she's gone...my littlest best friend is gone. My heart is broken. To my forever puppy, I am so glad I was able to hold you in the end and comfort you with kisses as you left me. My sweetest little karma girl, be pain-free and strong now. You have a piece of my heart with you until we meet again. ❤️
The True Riches
True riches are found in kindness, not gold. The sparrow
knew this and showed the way.
True wealth lies in your character and actions. Cultivate
kindness, and you will find yourself rich in spirit. ❤️
$SUZUME
$RIN $OKINAMI $HOICHI $HACHI $SAKURA
@yonashib Shytoshi gave a very insightful and interesting speech, I thoroughly enjoyed a glimpse into the mind and thought process of one of the greats. The upcoming volunteer list is exciting, I will try for a spot.
One day at a time...one foot in front of the other...I haven't even checked my wallet since the universe grabbed me and flipped me on top of my head and tore me in half, lol. I've been in a full digital blackout. Although, I know my absence was detrimental, my presence would have been too.
What I do know is that the communities and people I've met here awakened something in me that felt so familiar and comforting. This is what I need now. I need family and friends and puzzles and code. There's always a crossroads, sometimes the choice is made for us. So, I need to follow the path that I was distracted from. The way the powers that be have so forcefully redirected me to face. 🥰
I will be around, I am going to dust the cobwebs off my computer and pick up where I left off.
@jmass407 I will come visit soon, I have almost cleared out all that needs to go in my life. I have a need for old friends and a comfortable home, my body and soul are tired. RIN is my place for renewal. ❤️
The powers that be told me my ability to love is too much for just one person. I was told I was meant to share my whole heart with the world.
Love, always and forever...
❤️
Smalls
And just like that...15 years together are over. 💔 I was born to survive the worst of the worst and transform myself into something stronger and better. The transformation is never easy, but it is necessary. The beginning is the end and the end is the beginning...right? 🥹 No wonder I chose to a small sparrow, it makes so much sense now...
---------
I think the most painful part when a chapter of life closes is when they don't understand why you left...when they say they want the "old" you back. I know her, she's the one who still could fake a smile, the one who bottled up pain because it never helped to bring it up, the one who said yes to their every dream and desire and stayed quiet when they said no to hers, the one who smiles while taking the blame for nothing to do with them, the one who shoulders their guilt for their failures. Then one who still holds them up when they tear her down... supresses who she is.
It happens without notice, she becomes so small, she spend all of her time buried in her phone, hood covering her face, hiding the pain she wears every minute and every day, she can only give one word answers because she can only muster to hide the pain in her voice one word at a time. She hides...she doesn't want to be around anybody. The mask she wears in front of everyone has become just too damn heavy to lift any more. She does her best to not let out all of that pain and hurt she's swallowed down until shes so full, the lump never leaves her throat. Its hurts so much to never have relief. And still...she sits in silence, struggling to breathe...she shrinks because of the weight she let them place on her shoulders...and then they want to know why she's so small...after years of molding herself into the instructions they've given to her to fit into their world, they'll still ask, where did the "old" you go?
She died. She wilted and died. Let her go.❤️
Have you ever seen a movie called, Field of Dreams? It's an older film but it'll still make me cry...
Work was tough today, I had my monthly financial close call...I came home and whipped out an old cookbook and started baking. I love the smell of freshly baked cake...don't you? 😊 I wish I could share it with everyone, this is a master chef's old book.❤️
BREAKING: President Trump has tapped Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to lead the DOGE — Department of Government Efficiency.
Their mission will be to "dismantle government bureaucracy, slash excess regulations, cut wasteful expenditures, and restructure Federal Agencies." President Trump believes the DOGE could become "The Manhattan Project of our time."
ELON MUSK: "This will send shockwaves through the system, and anyone involved in Government waste, which is a lot of people!"
The DOGE will provide advice and guidance from outside the government. Congratulations to @elonmusk and @VivekGRamaswamy!!
My plan is to build, the sparrows don't want me in either community so I will create Kobayashi's Community which will be open to everyone. No secrets, only knowledge. No one will be more important than the next. We will work side by side, be it a sparrow, a cat, a dog, a shoe, a toad....I don't care who joins. Kobayashi's Community is for investors helping investors. That is the single rule: You come to help or you go. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is the key.
While this isn't what you want to hear, I don't have another answer for you at this moment in time. I learned to not chase the 0x a long time ago. There is no way to control the 0x, you must accept that or 0x will destroy you.
Hold hope, nothing is lost. You are right where you're meant to be.
@B7651314928930@s_shitakiri@YoursKobayashi I want to address this post first, as long as you have even a sliver of hope, it is enough. It was wrong of me to imply it was your fault entirely for the bans. I was not there, I only heard one side of the story. I will not bring it up again. 🙏