My wife stopped saying "thank you" when I did the dishes.
I noticed.
I was offended.
"I'm helping," I thought. "Where's the gratitude?"
One night I said it out loud.
"I did the dishes. Again."
She looked at me like I'd asked for a medal.
"You live here too."
That's when it hit me.
I wasn't "helping."
I was living in my own house and acting like a guest who occasionally tidied up.
She didn't need help.
She needed a partner who stopped waiting to be thanked for what he should've been doing anyway.
Your wife doesn't need a helper.
She needs a man who stops keeping score.