Ashley Guillaume

Muscle manipulator with a major in massage and a minor in laundry. Also teaches disease to budding LMTs

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

Realized today that when my grandmother told me the world was going to hell in a hand basket it was just her generations way of saying WE LIVE IN A DUMPSTER FIRE

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

I just ate my weight in sushi. Feelin it

[Naomi Biden @NaomiBiden]

Sooo not sure how best to update but was supposed to do so weeks ago…but we have finally figured out where the ceremony will be…and much to the relief of secret service and with the dogs’ endorsement…we’ll be getting married on the South Lawn! Couldn’t be more excited 🥹

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

I now resent oncoming traffic because they're moving and I'm not

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

Just want to be home but instead at a standstill on #I35... For 20min. Have not moved. Bring food, Ima be here a while

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

@SenJoniErnst What in the actual fuck @SenJoniErnst. THAT is your Christmas message to the people of Iowa? As a former military officer, have some respect for your Commander in Chief. You know, the one that won the honest and fair election.

[Eric Feigl-Ding @DrEricDing]

Vaccines for dummies. Excellent cartoon. #COVID19 #CovidVaccine

HT @BenjAlvarez1 for the find.

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

@dog_rates @subaru_usa Or anyone being an ass hat to a defenseless dog

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

@BVKActual @pattonoswalt Don't let it deter you. Major cities are more open minded, there are some really beautiful state parks, and the bike trails are fantastic

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

@ShopSamoyed @ericgarland Well, really I meant women's rights. Sorry about the miscommunication

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

@ericgarland We can only hope! I'm from Iowa and we seem to be turning into Texas with every new legislation. No gun restrictions, restrictive abortion rights, the 'back the blue' bill. Ugh. And then there's the ag gag law

[The Kabs Family @FamilyKabs]

I told Mali i could speak 12 languages 👀😂i definitely wasn’t ready... 🤦🏾‍♂️ 🇪🇸🇵🇹

#TheKabsFamily

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

@RepJayapal I wouldn't even need a full $50k and I would be 100% debt free for the first time in my adult life. I could, like, take a real vacation (when it's safe, if course)

[Henry Winkler @hwinkler4real]

Yes I LOVE Penquin s

[Breeana Flannery @BreeanaFlannery]

2020 as told by #schittscreek

A Very Schitty 2020 @danjlevy

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

#nostuntdouble

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

DA FUK is right. That's freaking awesome!

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

DA FUK

[Ashley Guillaume @Smash84]

@pattonoswalt 😮👀