Señor Baggins

🔥 💩

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

The military's responsibilities according to Trump:
1. build walls
2. parades!
3. excuse bone spurs
4. war & misc.

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

@RizzShow hey guys, LOVE the show and I listen avidly every day to the podcast here in Denver. Just thought you guys might wanna know that your “Eagle Call” is actually a Red-tailed hawk call, and sounds nothing like an eagle 🦅 haha. Fun fact of the day. #happybirthdayrizz

[The High Wife 😘💨 @Dirty_Joint]

Getting to see the mountains on my way to work everyday reminds me why I moved here 🏔💚

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

@Dirty_Joint Deal

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

@Dirty_Joint You might die from overdramatics

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

Hearing @Dirty_Joint singing in the kitchen while cooking bacon is the only thing I need in life. I love living with my best friend.

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

My stomach is so fucked up I feel like I'm gonna puke out of my eyes.

[The High Wife 😘💨 @Dirty_Joint]

I'm moving to Colorado in ELEVEN DAYS OMGGGGGG

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

Luckiest man alive cause my girlfriend is unbelievably attractive. FUCK

[The High Wife 😘💨 @Dirty_Joint]

Every time I make a life decision that will benefit me, I don't bash other people for not making the same decision lmao

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

@Dirty_Joint Same "logic"- "you can't claim to love the earth and nature if you wear clothes made from it or eat plants or use any resources from it"

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

@Dirty_Joint *Treats animals I meet like ppl*
*loving/caring pet parent*
*eats some animals for sustenance like EVERY animal does-OPE U CANT LOVE THEM

[The High Wife 😘💨 @Dirty_Joint]

Um. Yes I can https://t.co/JwOMcQF3Kd

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

@Dirty_Joint took me to the toy section & bought me Legos cause she knows I'm actually 12... I'm so fucking excited, best day ever!! #Legos

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

I earned the fuck out of this beer... and the next 8 I'm gonna drink tonight.

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

Idk if I could ever bitch abt work again after the fucking brutal backbreaking labor I did for 9 hrs today. Hardest work of my life so far.

[The Orville @TheOrville]

Join @SethMacFarlane and the rest of the crew aboard #TheOrville, Thursdays this fall on FOX.

[Ron Perlman @perlmutations]

To my fellow humans, Trumpcare will not be voted on til after July 4. I beg you, find out what it does to you . And then go to Town Halls.

[Señor Baggins @SmokinBaggins]

@Dirty_Joint I gotchu bbgirl

[The High Wife 😘💨 @Dirty_Joint]

It's so weird seeing Harry Potter in theaters again. The best kind of nostalgia