im alive but im dead

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀𝐃𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ *:✧*:･ﾟ.✧:･ﾟ.✧*:･.
┊　　┊　　┊　　┊
┊　　┊　　┊　　❀
┊　　┊　　✧
┊　　❀
✧
『𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐞』
⋰𝐘𝐚𝐰𝐧⋱

✿𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘤. & 𝘓𝘪𝘵. ︙ 𝘋𝘦𝘵. 𝘝𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘴
✿𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘸/ 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘮.︙ 𝘌𝘹𝘱. 𝘙𝘗

♡+↻?

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

@CinnamonCards OH MY GOD YOUR BACON HAIR TURNED YELLOW

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

Y’all got any meatballs?

[✨ @GILDEDRXSES]

You arrive at Ikea. You go to the kitchen section. You see Sparkling has set up a full bar spread on one of the display kitchens and security is trying to escort him out

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

@CinnamonCards “Aw man :/l

[Crow 🐦‍⬛ Lungs smooth as hell @_mystic_crystal]

you know what? *transes his gender*

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

Man he didn’t get the job done :/

And they say IM lazy

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“Man”

“Actually he didn’t get the job done, could /you/ k!ll me for like a week? I think that’s fair.”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

//collective therapy for vampire when

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“HONESTLY IT MAKES THINGS WORSE”

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

“I THOUGHT SLEEP HELPED YOU?”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“IDK IM BORED”

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

“WHY DO YOU WANT THAR??”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“WHAT?”

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“I know.”

.

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

“I- but you’re gonna be really hurt..”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“YEAH! DO IT! NO BALLS!”

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

“WAIT WHAT??”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“... my de*th wish?”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“Hi sweetie-“

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“FUCKIN-“

Arms out open and wide

“DO IT BITCH!”

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

He pulls out his sword.

“YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO RUN.”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“NO HE’D STOMP ON MY BACK AND NECK”

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

“VAMPIRE SHOES ARE NOT MADE FOR STOMPING ON FACES.”

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

@crystallinesea_ No he’s just old and sad

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“THEIR MADE TO WALK AND SO HED WALK ON ME! HIS SHOES WOULD BE FINE!”

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

HIS SHOES ARENT MADE FOR THAT

[im alive but im dead @SmokinVamp]

“IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE SEXUAL!”

[✨ @ShiningHero_]

“THEN DONT HAVE MY PRECIOUS COFFEE BABY STEP ON YOU!-“