Regan Dwyer

I’m addicted to watermelon gum

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

Maybe she’s born with maybe is progynova

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

I’m going to start lying about my age, for the aesthetic.

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

I’m not like the other girls, I like a crisp beer, and I’ve got a penis

[lois @pyerissey]

“buy less, choose well, make it last.” - vivienne westwood

[maria🦝 @mariamainmo]

They took the midnight snake goin anywhere

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

@BlairTosh_ He was talking to himself, seeing such a woman as yourself made him question whether he was who he thought.

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

French KFC is goat

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

I’m the main character in a very slow and boring movie, great sex scenes though.

[Mia Moore @StopTweetingMia]

“We can always tell”

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

I hate the Hermès bracelets, they are so tasteless, true form for money doesn’t buy taste

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

I resist the overwhelming urge to spit in the direction of parking inspector when I see them

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

He called it “abstract art”

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

When you write him a love letter but he can’t read your handwriting

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

When he’s a 10, but he watches tik tok while he gets dressed

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

@cobweb_lady I miss trams

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

Oh Sydney water why are you so gross, you taste like dirty clothes

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

You tell me there is no god and I’ll show you so many pictures of phallic looking geography you’ll be on your knees begging for a ticket into the golden gates.

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

Maybe not Emma Thompson for pm, Johnny English a roller coaster

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

Emma Thompson for England’s next pm

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

@LachlanHughes11 @BlairTosh_ Screw you, topping counts as bisexuality right?

[Regan Dwyer @Smug124567890]

@BlairTosh_ Invalid, I have a car