SnackyTuna

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[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Imagine having a piece of shit dad growing up and the only game of yours he showed up to is the one where Airbud put up 32 against you

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

@LeBatardShow no Simon & Simon on anybody’s TV theme show list that’s blasphemy

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

My last 2 brain cells telling me to say “thanks, you too” when the waitress says “enjoy your meal”

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

The 2 mice in my kitchen watching their drunken god stumbling around spilling shredded all over the place

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Me smoking weed in my living room after texting my boss that “I’m too sick” to come in to work today

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

My wife: “don’t get drunk and start karaoke at my work Christmas party again”

Me at the party:

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Gettin lifted off that…

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Smokin’ on that…

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

When your friends find you taking pics for your Tinder profile

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Me about to tell my brother that mom said it’s my turn to play Xbox

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Me 2 minutes after saying “I don’t think these edibles are working”

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

When you let a fart out on the way to your room but the elevator stops on the floor before yours

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Me trying to decipher why my wife is mad at me today

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

How that pile of laundry looks once I turn off the lights and get in bed

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

I think we should all take a few moments to pause and think about what almost was…

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Me drunk in Walmart back in 1998 when they sold fish in that mf…remember that shit?

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

When you’re shitting in a 1 toilet public restroom and someone starts rattling the door

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

Me: *actually leaves for work on time*

The highway:

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

When somebody is doing the speed limit in the fast lane and you’re running 15 minutes late and on the verge of shitting yourself

[SnackyTuna @SnackyTuna]

My last 2 brain cells watching me click next on page 449 of 2560 on PornHub