Snafu

Sausage, eggs, chips and beans please, two bread and a large tea no sugar. Lovely, thanks.

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@guardian @PhilNWang RIP Sean - at your funeral there'll be 2 coffins and we'll make Jon Richardson try to guess which one you're in

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@anon_opin Don't forget the marching up and down for hours, going for a run with a heavy backpack, being shouted at by an apoplectic man in a hat that touches his nose and polishing boots

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@MrWorried476841 @anon_opin If you've got that kind of money to spend and you wanted a V twin, there are much better V twins to chose from

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@anon_opin Would mummy not let you get one? is that the real problem? Wanker

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@GuidoFawkes As Thames Water needs at least £24 billion in repairs to infrastructure and is £16 billion in debt, it's value is effectively zero. That is how much the Gov should pay for it

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@Only9built @jezdrawspicture Chinese Honda CB125 clone with a nice badge - shame

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@anon_opin

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@Tinkerbell16098 @anon_opin They are not bad if you don't over cook them - they are as tough as old boots if you do. Probably ok if they are stewed low and slow too, though I haven't tried them like that

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@anon_opin Growing a proper moustache is very much like making love to a beautiful woman

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@dog_rates Anyone who cuts a dogs ears off should have the same done to them - in the same way. Fuck this animal abuse

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@MoneySavingExp Before we lost him, my old Bert Sausage would tolerate a wet flannel on his head in hot weather

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@BestOfUKComedy "They won't sell many ice creams going at that speed"

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@anon_opin Creepius Crawlius

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@GuidoFawkes When did sledgehammers go metric?

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@anon_opin If the author's name is in a bigger font than the title, it's going to be shit - 100% guaranteed

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@MoneySavingExp My phone doesn't know who I bank with

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@C4Countdown @Channel4 @markchapman @ColinMurray @susie_dent @RachelRileyRR (7x3) x 25 = 525, 4+1=5, subtract

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@anon_opin The ones that got engineering degrees are doing all right. Those that spent three years doing media studies or drama are now "trained" to make them coffee and wash up

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@chesscom I'll have Paul Morphy, Mikael Tal, Bobby Fischer and Gotham Chess, just so I can watch Levy getting stomped over and over again

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@Jhon42964332 Both twats. Ban the pair of them

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@anon_opin Make smaller loaves, more often - it's not difficult. You can even freeze buns half baked so you can have fresh bread in 15 minutes. I've got to admit, I've never had to do this as my bread gets devoured in under 24 hours.