jocelyn

it’s a cold and it’s a broken macarena

[jocelyn @Snakeflaps]

My preferred pronoun is whatever nonsense word your religious grandmother used for women who dress like whores.

[luca @jussawhole]

Took several shots at a party with a random girl and when I asked how old she was she said 19

[The Art of SpongeBob @ArtofSpongebob]

I've now learned that this is a reference to a public access show that used to run in LA, called Spirit of Truth. "Who put you on the planet?" and even the exact dance is in this clip from the show

[carlo @filmedpasta]

I just know the waveform for this looks like a big fat rectangle

[Moira Donegan @MoiraDonegan]

On Twitter they’re trying to make it women’s fault that grandparents are old

[Hungry Burger @HungryyBurgerr]

The Victoria's Secret discourse this week really has been like this.

[jocelyn @Snakeflaps]

@DATEEBAYO10 @quesadaaa_ We don’t WANT the age appropriate manchildren who are still trying to fuck 18 year olds. It’s not bitterness or competition. We’re trying to warn them that the second they’re no longer compliant and naive, they’re getting traded in for someone younger.

[Governor Hot Wheels @GovHotWheels_TX]

Austin / Houston / Dallas

[Criminalsimpsons @Criminalsimpson]

Past a certain age, a man who hates Lisa Simpson’s episodes can be a bad thing.

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

how it feels to live in houston when you don't have someone in your ear telling you it's gross

[Mary Pezzulo @mary_pezzulo]

It's like he was hand picked to annoy the worst people ever and I'm having a good time.

[Cottage Wife @acottagemouse]

“Cook like your grandma!”

Meanwhile, our grandma’s recipes are like:

Mix crisco with ritz crackers, a cup of sugar, & a few drops of food coloring, then bake in a jello mold with processed cheese product. Top with mayonnaise or miracle whip, for the health conscious

[nostalgia core @nostalgiacore]

37 years later, still one of the greatest dance songs ever made

[jbolina jolie @pastapilled]

Does Sisyphus forget of his boulder

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

kids these days will never experience the feeling of getting ready to music videos on tv

[seraphina @seraphfem]

sacred text

[ꕤ @glindaupland]

for anyone unfamiliar with american horror story this is like if rihanna returned to music

[#3 sisterwife but #1 in his heart @prettycritical]

ppl who can’t successfully do small talk always think their minds are so evolved. meanwhile, they make everyone uncomfortable right before whipping out the dumbest shit about molecules and space dust and mushrooms you’ve ever heard. i know what a ceiling tapestry like that means