Party Mom

#1 Housewife

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Flesh god mother. Insert screwdriver into ear. Help me.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Hell I’d rather choke on the tape that strang a kangaroo jack VHS tape together than hear you talk.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

I heard my next door neighbor beating his dog. Schrödinger was right, it ain’t no dog, it’s a cat.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

I once saw a man lose his finger to scratch offs. Rubbed her so hard he couldn’t fuck of *Bill Engvall crowd laughs*

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Sometimes you think about your gay aunt tackling your dad and somehow that becomes hot.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

I like being the guy at the party who can tap dance to reggae

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

That said I can’t commit to the comfort of a noose because it agitates my acid reflux. There’s no pillow in suicide

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

I can’t even write a suicide note describing how much I love everyone. But hell, here I am. All you fucks that ain’t mentioned here you go. Love you.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Going start wearing a fanny pack to keep my wet shrimp in.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Nowadays Dick Van Dyke looks like a haunted house prop.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Impersonating Don Knotts at Chuck E Cheese

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

I’m at the point in my life where standing in a decaying parking garage and high fiving strangers going to their cars all night sounds pretty cool.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

I feel like a babysitter who gets the call from inside the house. Except the house is on fire and nobody was on the other line.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

@jason_mraz fucking fight me coward.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

We used to blow on NES cartridges. Now we just blow eachother.

[u m a m i @u_m_a_m_i]

The subject, context, juxtaposition, intention, and a million more attributes combine to form what a great piece of art is. If AI art threatens you as an artist, your practice is shallow, as are the pieces that you make. If machines can replace you, maybe they should.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Found this plate at my folks thanksgiving of MySpace scene me and my sister etched on a dinner plate. Check that Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza shirt haha.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

@DaveCoulier Still won’t fight me you bitch made boy.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Having an AI help me through the trauma of my dad’s 20 grand military uniform wardrobe burning down.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

Honked out a dirt snake from my butthole.

[Party Mom @SnapSnapper]

XXX: State of the Union is an incredible film.