Snarky Biologist🧛🏼

Snarky biologist is applying for a PhD, next is world domination. University Faculty, Dog Mom, Writer. Lover of yoga, journal enthusiast. Probably a vampire.

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Every time I talk about my research, my friend calls me a fish murderer.
I would like to remind everyone that I *wanted* to write my thesis on how vampires are scientifically plausible but no one would let me.

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

My friend pointed out that we are now closer in age to Captain Hook than Peter Pan and I am scarred.

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Super excited for tomorrow because I’m going to be in airports all day which means I can put on my villain playlist and strut up and down the moving walkways

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Just my mom texting me

About lunch

When we are in the same house

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

I have entered my ✨dad✨ era

And by that I mean I walk around my parents’ house turning off lights and muttering about the electricity bill

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

I grade in order that they were turned in, so I periodically get asked what time I’m at (currently at 11:55pm the day they were due and I have ten to go)

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Late night musings about lab reports as I am trying to grade

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

I can instantly tell if the picture has a bacterial plate they streaked or one of mine. I have a very distinctive 4-way streak style I guess 😂

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

@RainyCraze Haha that was my whole point

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Ya’ll I am going to get myself burned at the stake.

It’s me vs. this entire Sunday school class on social justice and I just called all of them out for being afraid of the word “woke”.

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

@RainyCraze Right 😭

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

I die a little inside every time one of my students submits assignment as a phone-taken picture of a document on their computer

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Anyone else feeling so very burned out in #highereducation?

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

My lab assistant, Gen Z: not you doing (whatever I was doing)

Me, grumpy Millennial: yes me doing (whatever I was doing)

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Students were making fun of me because I got a text in the midst of class saying my lab assistants dumped what is basically jello for bacteria in expensive equipment, and so when class was done I sprinted across campus to go clean it up.

Apparently I run like an anime character.

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Nobody prepared me for how much of biology is “crap, my samples!” every time the power goes out

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Now she’s trying to find me a husband

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

Today a little kid asked me how I’m still alive when she found out I’m in my 30s so that’s how my day is going

[Snarky Biologist🧛🏼 @SnarkEBiologist]

I had laryngitis all last week and as my voice started healing one of my lab assistants said

“Well now you just sound like a mean baby”

And I’m still upset