Milk Tits

I've been unfollowed by some of the greats.

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

If I could get back all the time I’ve spent overthinking I’d

Okay but hang on

Sometimes maybe

And then because

Well actually

If you really think about it

Here’s the thing

Let me start over.

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

It’s been three years what’d I miss

[The JNCO Jughead @VocabuLarry]

The worst thing about the 1930’s was having to wear a suit just to do crimes.

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

Day eight thousand eight hundred sixty-two of replacing sanity with alcohol and so far the results are pretty fucking fabulous

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

Every time a woman gets her period on Valentine’s Day a maxi pad gets its wings

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

Cleaning out a car seat is as revealing as a colon cleanse and smells just as bad

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

If the future is female why does the iPhone correct vaguna to laguna

[Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @Hormonella]

If you've never thought of leaving social media forever you obviously didn't just see that Facebook recipe for nachos made from tater tots.

[juicymorsel @juicymorsel]

You write history and shape the future by the way you treat every person who crosses your path. The best you can be is a good example.

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

A study says women average saying 7,000 words daily, men 2,000.

To be fair, half of the 7,000 comes from women repeating themselves to men.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

I opened the dishwasher and it's full of clean dishes and I'm scared my wife is going to know that I know.

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

@indigofizz @juicymorsel The morsel is good at what she does. The world needs more of her.

[juicymorsel @juicymorsel]

Breathe. Such zeal to embrace doom and gloom could only be rivaled by the love child of Grumpy Cat and Chicken Little.

[juicymorsel @juicymorsel]

The sun will come up tomorrow. Be kind to each other.

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

I'm thinking of the conservative woman who scheduled her c-section for today and is now overjoyed. You know she's out there somewhere.

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

@trixieboots consensual schmensual!

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

Of all the things I hoped to see staring back at me post-childbirth Chris Farley's paunch wasn't high on the list.

[Friedrice Nietzsche @tinynietzsche]

I sexually identify with tropical depressions.

[Milk Tits @SnarkToast]

I was beginning to have hope for 2017 and then I saw a guy with a 1" scalp lock