Turtia Swain 🌻

I am full of savior whatsit

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

@ac13alex @Jared_Carrabis @RedSox Thank you for everything!

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

@AMAZlNGNATURE It's a Liopleurodon Charlie.... A maaaggial Liopleurodon......

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

@peacock Hi Peacock! Me and my friends want to have a Halloween Ends watch party - will it be available to stream at 12:01am EST on October 14th? We’re planning a lil event.

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

@edburmila @Schwatd I’m sure 5/3 Bank can sort this out

[Phil Klay @PhilKlay]

The sad thing is that if we hadn’t expanded NATO, Putin would have tirelessly devoted himself to world peace and the brotherhood of man.

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

I’m just mad someone beat me to it.

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

The CDC says it’s now acceptable to go chasing waterfalls and you’re no longer required to stick to the rivers and lakes that you’re used to.

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

Hakuna Frittata: it means no worries for the rest of your eggs

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Mike And Karen Pence Leave White House Aboard Tandem Bike #InaugurationDay

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

Conveniently located near my optometrist, Shrodinger’s Cataracts

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

The fly that landed on his head for about 5 minutes really drove this theory home

[Harrison Weinreb @harriweinreb]

This is tough. I like them both

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

📈 Rising now: 'xenophobia' #Debates2020
https://t.co/hfGB0ywaOD

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

If I get really angry while I’m on my period please don’t take it personally. I’m just ovary-acting.

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

What I currently lack in spirit and emotional stability I more than make up for in Juul chargers.

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

@hqtrivia listen, I just used my extra life on that first question! Could I please have it back?

[Glen Weldon @ghweldon]

we WILL have a space force, and the martians will pay for it

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

@Sjamesundead I’m a yanny in case you care which I’m sure you don’t

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

I just saw a man with his Service Ferret in foggy bottom and that’s the only time I’ll be able to say that sentence in my life

[Turtia Swain 🌻 @Snotia]

@backtodasein I found a bar for us to go to when you come visit https://t.co/hM2GF6MvTs

[Dan's Cafe @DansCafeDC]

Good weather this weekend? Come drink in a dark, damp, windowless shithole.