Craig Pearson

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

Ahead of England's World Cup semi-final vs Argentina, FIFA have been hard at work...

18+ GambleAware

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#BBCNEWS With most people at home and having the news on, you switch to the weather and 6'oclock news mid press conference to tell us the same news we had all day! God forbid you break your timings... @BBCNews

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

Coronavirus kills 3000 people and we lose our shit.

Obesity kills 300,000 people annually and we come out with a new flavour of doritos!

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

The man who invented autocorrect has died...

May he roast in piss!

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz

Is google a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz

I had my credit card stolen the other day. I didn't bother to report it as the thief spends less than my wife!

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I’ve never had a Lentil on my face!

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
BREAKING NEWS... Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will return to the royal family after Harry’s try-out at a Starbucks in Toronto didn’t lead to a second shift

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz

There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

Who wears a penguin Christmas jumper in November... #kingsarmsbrentfordquiz

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
"And the Lord said unto John 'Come forth, and receive eternal life"

But John came fifth, and won a toaster

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time!

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
My friend was planning to get a Labrador. Is he mad?! Hasn’t he seen how many of their owners go blind?!

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
I got really angry with my sat nav today. I even yelled at it to go to hell. 20 minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
I’m not saying my son is ugly…
But on Halloween he went to tell the neighbors to turn down their TV and they gave him some candy.

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion!

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
I just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers

[Craig Pearson @Snugz_11]

#kingsarmsbrentfordquiz
My wife told me sex is better on holiday... that wasn't a very nice postcard to receive