VeryBritishProblems

New book: A Very British Midlife Crisis, out now! For everything VBP, visit: Written by @RobTemple101

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Mildly thrilled to announce my new book: A Very British Midlife Crisis - A Survival Guide to the Best Years of Your Life (by me, Rob Temple, creator of Very British Problems). Out in Autumn but available to pre-order now.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

What British chocolate bar/crisp/snack used to be great until they changed it and now it’s rubbish?

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

When do you put your bin out for collection?

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Things you can scare out of British people:

The living daylights
The wits
The bejeebers
The Dickens
The hell
The life
The cr*p / sh*t

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

@Gav_Griffiths The entire list is from my book which can be found here: https://t.co/kpTmZ7TFgz

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Can’t believe how dark it is.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“There just isn’t enough time in the day!” I say, rolling my eyes, as I go back to my desk and scroll on my phone for 20 minutes.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Just noticed my new book is only £5.20 in hardback on Amazon for the next 12 hours. Quite frankly that’s ridiculously cheap for a book that took me ages to write. Get it while it’s hot, folks. A handy Christmas present for the gentle curmudgeons in your life.
https://t.co/CJxaaq2XnL

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

There’s no experience quite as stressful as needing to use your printer in a hurry.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“I’m not going to stand for this,” I say, as I stand and remaining standing for the full duration of “this”.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Hotels: “Hello, thank you for booking to stay with us for two whole weeks with your family, here are three coat hangers”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Just bumped into my neighbour and told him to “have a good one!” Which now strikes me as frightfully bossy. When I see him next, I must apologise for ordering him to enjoy the day.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

I just said “right, I think I might have a cup of tea” and someone replied “why?”

Most ridiculous question I’ve ever heard.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Do you close the bedroom door when you go to bed?

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

My new book is available here: https://t.co/sSRG25X6kb

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

My new book - A Very British Midlife Crisis, A Survival Guide to the Best Years of Your Life - is out today! Thank you so much to everyone who pre-ordered and to everyone else who has it on their list. I think you’ll quite like it 🙂

Chapters:

1 Are You Actually Middle-Aged?
2 Body Betrayals
3 Career Wobbles
4 The Midlife Crisis Wardrobe
5 Relationship Troubles
6 Travel Temptations
7 Sports and Fitness
8 Hobbies, Obsessions and Regrets
9 Down with the Kids
10 It’s Not All Doom and Gloom!
The Great Midlife Glossary (A-Z)

It’s from all good bookshops. Also available on Audible (read by me) in October (but you can pre-order now).

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Right, that’s another bank holiday weekend in the bin. Onwards into September we go.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

@MDJO Ah so you’re either an idiot sitting at home in their tinfoil hat, or probably just a bot. Understood. Good day.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

It’s always weird when you see someone out of context. I just saw a lady who works in the GP surgery, but she was in THE SUPERMARKET!!! It briefly scrambled my mind.

“Hang on… I know her… is she the pharmacist? Is she from the village shop? Is she my auntie? No… think, brain, think… AH YES!!! I KNOW!”

It’s like we’re all living in our own Truman Shows, and people should just be where they usually are else we get discombobulated.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Some conditions don’t have cures, they require routine monitoring, which you go to the GP for. Also if you’re elderly or pregnant or have small children you’ll be going more often too. You obviously don’t have any conditions or situations like that, so your comment comes across as rather silly and ignorant.