Jeconti

Oh God how did this get here I am bad with computers

[RazorCandi @RazorCandi4ever]

What did you think meeting me would have been like? 😆

[RazorCandi @RazorCandi4ever]

ready to confess your sins?

[𝕸𝖘.𝕯𝖗𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓 🦇 𝖂𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝕻𝖆𝖑𝖒 𝕭𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍 @yesmsdraven]

Who makes these??? I need a set!

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@farmthis_anims I need this so bad! Please sell this as a physical set, or make the stl files to 3d print!

[RazorCandi @RazorCandi4ever]

ready for the sermon

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@taemin Plz

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@taemin Okay Sorento.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

It is 10:16 PM and I just finished applying to the new "Tech Force."

My friends asked me, "Why would you do that? You’re a Director. $190k is a pay cut."

I laughed. You guys don't see the vision.

You see a government job. I see The Ultimate Hiding Spot.

In the private sector, if the server goes down, I have to fix it.

In the government, if the server goes down, I have to form a sub-committee to evaluate the procurement process for a replacement vendor.

That takes six months. That is six months of paid "downtime."

I can hide in that bureaucracy like a needle in a haystack.

I plan to get hired, classify my entire Outlook calendar as "Top Secret/Sensitive," and spend the next four years napping in a secure facility.

I told my current CEO I’m taking on a "National Security Advisory Role." (I’m keeping my current job too).

I’m going to collect two paychecks. One for doing nothing here. And one for doing nothing for Uncle Sam.

They call it the Tech Force. I call it the Pension Protocol.

God bless America. And God bless the pace of government work.

[Concerned Citizen @BGatesIsaPyscho]

🚨🇫🇷 Meanwhile across France

A number of treasonous Politicians are finding themselves ‘Shitted In’ their homes this Winter because the French Farmers have had enough.

[Zaedynn 🐾 Ferret Vtuber 🐾 @_Zaedynn_]

Obtain the Hidden Artifact for Ret Paladin in Legion Remix

Side note, I created a fresh pally just for this! All I did was unlock the Class Hall and she was level 18 when I did the quest 💜💜

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@taemin Sounds like life summed up 😂

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@pax I missed Pax east 25 due to a friend passing away and being at a funeral. Your customer service email said they can't help or offer any refund for this. Seems sus. Is that true?

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@taemin Let's circle back on this.

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@taemin

[MissMinty 🔜Blizzcon2026 @MissMintyTTV]

If you know what this is, you probably have back pain right now.

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@Warcraft This is disgusting. I refreshed on the dot, click +1, checkout. Maybe 2 seconds, 2 clicks. Sold out. Couldn't complete order. This is insane you let bots do this with no ticket protection.

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@taemin Ah, gotcha. Yeah I've noticed the same. Not sure if it'd because I haven't gone over there yet or there's just an overall trend of giving up on social media.

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@taemin What the hell is an oomf? Also, I have a lot of friends switching to bluesky and I'm just like... I can't do this again I'm staying sorry 😂

[Jeconti @SomethingBeard]

@taemin Did they give their child something to cry about???

[Lillithid - BDSM, Denial, Chastity Onlyfans! @lillithid666]

Pretty little things are meant to kneel.
#SubmissionIsSexy #DownOnMyKnees #PrettyServant