“Do it or don't do it, you will regret both”
- Søren Kierkegaard
Kierkegaard, the 19th-century Danish philosopher, is widely considered one of the earliest and most influential figures in existentialist thought.
This quote comes from Either/Or, published in 1843, in a passage that explores how regret can seem almost impossible to avoid.
Kierkegaard suggests that whether you marry or stay single, laugh at the world or cry over it, you may end up regretting whichever path you choose.
His message was not simply that every decision leads to disappointment. Rather, he was examining a difficult reality of human choice: selecting one possibility inevitably means giving up another.
Even when a decision turns out well, we may still wonder how life might have unfolded had we chosen differently.
Avoiding a decision does not free us from this dilemma either, because choosing not to act is still a choice—and it carries consequences of its own.
The passage reflects the anxiety that comes with freedom: we are forced to make choices without ever being able to know with certainty where the roads we did not take might have led.
There is also an element of irony in the passage. It is intentionally exaggerated and presented through the perspective of an “aesthetic” personality who avoids commitment by endlessly considering every possible outcome. Kierkegaard ultimately argued that a meaningful life requires us to choose, commit, and move forward despite uncertainty.
Kierkegaard published Either/Or under the pseudonym Victor Eremita, meaning “victorious hermit” in Latin. He presented himself as the editor of writings that he claimed to have discovered hidden inside a secret drawer.