I find myself feeling incredibly sad, but i don’t know why, for the past hour I’ve been analyzing my emotions as I think and remember as for why I feel this way now. All I know is that my heart feels heavy making it difficult to breathe, i can’t move like a rock, so heavy.
For the very first time now that I am about to turn 35, I have felt how disrespectful a 16 year old can be towards someone my age, and I never thought I’d never thought I’d say it, what a little disrespectful shit that kid was to me.
Too often too many times, I find myself daydreaming, and this time, I was half-awake&half-asleep, so technically these dreams in my head were overlapping, I dreamt my grandmother walked into my bedroom with my baby cousin, a million questions filled my head. How did she get here?
Bro I have no energy to put up with anyone’s shit tomorrow at work. Like today, I barely made it out alive trying to keep myself together, and not lose my shit 😤😤😤
“A bee stung u on the lips, because you’re a sunflower”-my best friend said to me once.
U r like octopus, give as much as if u had 8 arms, & love as if u had 3 hearts”
U r a saint” he said -as if u could be a pastor’s wife.
& that’s literally highest compliment I’ve ever gotten
You have not gone anywhere, for I have a special altar in my heart, I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you forever. You have not left, you are not gone, I have kept you forever young in my memory.
When I think of you…I take the time of mourning for you. I let sadness sit in my heart, I give it time, for it to expand completely, in every edge, in every corner. For I still love you as deeply as a decade ago. I love you with every bone in my body.