🚨 WOMAN REVIEWS A HUMAN BABY LIKE IT’S A DEFECTIVE AMAZON PURCHASE
“This is my fourth model.”
Arrived early. Bigger than expected. “Lots of hair.”
Unboxing was “chaotic” and “a little painful.”
Craftsmanship? “Truly amazing.”
Performance? “Some weird glitches.”
“It randomly shuts down during the day.”
“At night it just alarms all night - no off switch.”
“It leaks a lot and stains your clothes.”
“No manual… we’re really just going based on vibes.”
Runs exclusively on milk - “anything else would break it.”
Accessories? “That’s where they get you.”
Shipping time: nine months.
Despite everything…
She still gives it 5 out of 5 stars
Still says she’d “highly recommend”
Then casually shows an "older model" that now runs on “berries and chicken nuggets.”
Is this the most unhinged product review ever recorded… or the most accurate description of parenthood the internet has ever seen?