Steve

Always careful, never safe

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

You know what’s kind of wild? When you run into someone you used to have class with at the bar and you ask what they do now and they’re like I’m a teacher. And you’re like damn, you used to copy my work.

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

@Timcast Where’s the stream

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Pbr hit different than select. I just fucked up a whole rotation of darts. I’m still only taking partial blame on that one though.

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

I haven’t drank pbr since I was like 19, before I even liked beer, and was ready to die on the hill that it sucks. It’s not bad.

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

When you lose track of your beer:
“That one’s too warm to be mine.”

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

On tonight’s episode of “I’m Fucking Deaf”:
“I’m the hook up. Gimme your cellophane.”
Me: *places cell phone in hand discreetly*
Him: Are you fucked up?

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Me: I have no clue if he was adopted or not. He may have been.
People I graduated with I’m chatting with: Not adopted, a DOCTOR!
Me: Oh yeah, I could definitely believe that. He was a TAG kid in elementary school.

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

@AVindman @elonmusk How’s that working out for you

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Whose dick you gotta suck to get some fucking cream soda around here

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Everyone thinking I’m an idiot for taking so long to choose what to put down in uno: 🤣😂🤣
Me playing the long game: 🙄
Them: How do you keep winning?!
Me: 🤷‍♂️

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Tudors before a flight. We’ll see how it goes.

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Random guy at the bar: You’re gay right?
Me: Nah.
Him: if you guys wanna come over to the hotel we’ll be in the hot tub. I’ll have on my short shorts. *pulls up current shorts*
Me: *still not gay*
My drunk gf: 🤣😂🤣 don’t listen to him. He’s definitely gay.
Me: 😑🤨

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

My fat ass is watching this baseball game like, the Hebrew nationals; is that right?

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Sheetz cashier: you’re total is… damn.
Literally a true story. Didn’t even get gas.

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

@ghirapurigears Lol paying two life for a card is pretty much always a good move

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Roe v wade was just overturned

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

@AlecxStewart @CaptnCutler @FuckinMaffis @advxo Last I heard they’re just looking for a kitchen manager before they open up

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

@Statnice

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Does that glass eye lady still wonder around Huntington? Did she ever get her car across the bridge or whatever?

[Steve @Space_Toast99]

Can you get steel reserves in 12oz for whenever you hate yourself a little bit less that day?