Susan Vanderford

database DBA Goddess, AWS student, weird wife and mom, and sometimes seen in an inflatable t-Rex costume. also sarcastic and swears a lot. Mostly harmless.

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

@pattonoswalt, I sat down this morning to watch your new special eating Doritos for breakfast. I feel called out.

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

So, do I crawl through a bunch of SQL stored procedures to find an issue in some critical tables at work, or do I put together lego dinosaurs...decisions are hard! #workorlegos #fixingotherpeoplescodesucks #beingagrownupsucks

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

Amazon has this feature that allows me to see exactly where my package is and how many stops till I get it. I am slightly concerned that I am bordering on stalking my delivery driver. I should not be trusted with this kind of power. #amazontracking #ishouldnotbetrusted

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

Learning more python. About to dive into modules. #learningpython #pythoncode #modulesinpython

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

How many people can be fired from upper management positions at your job before you get worried? Is it a percentage? And does it change anything if the company is a start up? #AskingForAFriend #whendoyouworry

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

Today I start learning python for fun. Cause my sense of fun is warped. #learningpython #learnscriptingforfun

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

We use RingCentral at work as our call system. Apparently mine has been broken for at least 5 months and I didn’t realize it. Got it fixed yesterday. I’ve had 4 sales people call me to try and sell stuff to me. #imbreakingitagain #iregretfixingit

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

@GeorgeTakei Wait till they find out about Donald Duck, he has no pants! And Mickey Mouse has no shirt! And Jerry from Tom & Jerry is nude, as is Tom.

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

So, it is my first time using SSIS to import and xml. So far I am a fan. #sqlserver2019 #ssis #xml

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

It is cold enough in southern Florida that we have falling iguana warning #fallingiguanawarning #winterinsouthernflorida

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

@AthensALSchools thanks for making me aware of the book Maus. I bought a copy and will introduce my kids immediately. Your concern over a few curse words and an image is horrible. The holocaust was a tragedy. You trying to rewrite it so it is more palatable is wrong. #maus

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

A couple years ago my phone was acting possessed so I named it Satan and then promptly forgot about it. Today I was out in my can and was added to a work conference call. The software used my phone name so everyone was informed that Satan entered the call. #remoteworking

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

During a meeting at work today: Work: “We must align our synergies to blah blah blah”
Me singing in my head “We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no. We don’t talk about Bruno!”
#encantomusic #EarWorm #noideawhatthismeetingisabout

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

Trying to walk my mother through logging into her TV into AppleTV may be the thing that pushes me over the edge. Two factor authentication is just too much apparently. Pray for me. #boomertechsupport

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

When we first got my dog and were looking for a trainer, I was asked “Do you want us to train your dog to open doors?” Hell no! That is a horrible idea. I want him to stay on whatever side of the door I left him on. So….guess who figured out how to open doors? This jerk.

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

On a consulting gig where they want me to learn CosmoDB and Oracle business suite. My other gig wants Azure DevOps and SQL server. So I am a busy chick learning as fast as I can. Upside is, i#at least I am not stagnant. #learnfast #azuredevops #sqlserver #cosmodb

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

Today I work on learning more cosmodb. I am spreading my data geek wings. #cosmodb #azurelife #databaseforlife

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

@BrentO I laughed way to hard at this.

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

When I was a kid I loved to answer the door when the doorbell rang. Now, as an adult, I hide if I was not expecting anyone. #adultproblems #introvertlife #doorbell #nottodaysatan

[Susan Vanderford @Spazzna]

Hey @GovRonDeSantis, so my son has been in school for 6 days and 2 cases of COViD 19 have already been reported. How many kids need to get sick before you let schools have a mask mandate?