Real Life Done Quick

We're all brought into this world and forced to play this crazy game we call life. Learn how to optimize your route and complete it as fast as possible.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Always run your best, no matter how bad the RNG gets.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Do not forget to apply sunscreen, or you’ll be afflicted with the “up past midnight with an aching sunburn” debuff and you’ll lose all kinds of time

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Happy Valentine’s Day, it can save time to skip it, but you get extra HP when someone gives you their heart. Expensive upgrade though.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

In an upcoming patch window shades will no longer block people from looking through them. This is because, uh, people could enter cheat codes behind window shades or something.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Due to a recent change in rules, Brazil Skip is now mandatory in all categories.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Time is an illusion, but your PB isn’t.

[NicoCW @NicoCVV]

Please use this image to convince every non-gamer at the function that Bob the Builder's been in Smash Bros. since the beginning.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

I would like to announce that we are now taking submissions for speedruns that can be performed by ducks. This will be for our new event, Aquatic Games Done Quack.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

As of today, “Toothpaste Jumping” is no longer optimal in any main category.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Unlike a certain game, real life does not have wavedashing. However, there is a trick called “davewashing.” It has nothing to do with movement, but my friend Dave discovered it while fixing a washing machine hence the name.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

We at SpeedRunsLife will be introducing Non-Fungible Timesaves. Simply take a trick that saves time, give us $50,000, and I will put a sticky note on my desk saying that you own a link to a video of that trick.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

@chuggaaconroy Looking away from your nails while filing can reduce lag. Optimally, you wear boxing gloves all the time so they never render at all, but that gives even basic tasks TAS-only difficulty.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

It may be Xpected that making a name shorter will always save frames. However, one must always Xamine the bigger picture before Xecuting such a move, as the short term time save may not Xactly cancel out resulting time loss later in the run.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

@AleSheepie Stealing this

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

X?

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Our glitch hunting team has found that pushing personal debt past $1,099,511,627,776 no longer causes it to reset to $0.

In other news, if anyone has 1.1 trillion dollars to spare, our glitch hunting team would really appreciate it.

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

As it has been changed to a paid DLC exclusive, the category “Twitter checkmark RTA” has been retired from the leaderboards.

[Fefe Emporium @FefeEmporium]

The somewhat-common paper fefe origami king valued at an estimated $0.73.
(owner: @anxioustobias)

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Life is not a game.

[LunaticJ @LunaticJTV]

Tell me a speedrunning opinion that’ll have you like this

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

If you’re low on hunger, eat a nutritious shoe for 40% hunger reduction

[Real Life Done Quick @SpeedRunsLife]

Throw away every clock in your house for maximum time loss.