Will Conahan

19. I enjoy life and it's absurdity. I'll do my best to celebrate it.

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

Is it just me, or did FB get hacked? #fbglitch?

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

I'm trustworthy. #OrAmI?

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

This girl and I were buying condoms, she paid. Cashier: "Gonna let her pay for that?" Me: "Hey, I'm paying for the night!" #neverawiseone

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

I could never be part of the secret service, I can't take a bullet for me.
#unbulletproof

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

What do you call someone who has masterbated for the first time?
Newcomer. @punchline

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

I can't afford dinner and a movie. How bout TV and Ramen?
#cheapdate

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

When I see kids sleeping, I think "so tranquil, so peaceful."
When I see old people sleeping I think, "I hope they're not dead."
@strangeage

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

Set-up: #punchline

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

I'd like to dress as the devil on halloween, and be as polite as possible, just so i can hear people say, "You know the Devil? Not so bad."

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

Veni, Vidi, Vici : Small, Medium, Large
#latinlessons

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

Can I tell you guys a secret? I'm really bad at keeping secrets.
#whotold?

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

Transgendered people probably never complain about the seat being up.
#heterosexualrelationshipcomplaints

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

My cat was recently diagnosed with multiple personality syndrome.
It's hard taking care of an animal that thinks it has 45 lives.

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

Coffee: tastes like tobacco flavored granola.

[Will Conahan @SpermDonorsKid]

A sperm donor's kid, is hand-made.
(If you pondered where the name of the account "came" from)
((P.P.S. That pun hurt me, too.)
Hey twitter