And Homer replies...
"So, just to be absolutely clear, Helen runs off with Paris, a thousand ships are launched to get her back, an entire civilisation spends ten years slaughtering itself, Achilles dies, Ajax dies, Troy is burnt to the ground, countless young men are hacked to pieces, all because Helen wanted to get her leg over with a Trojan...
Then Odysseus, who's never even met her, spends another ten years trying to get home, loses every one of his men, gets blown from one end of the Mediterranean to the other, is imprisoned by Calypso, nearly eaten by a Cyclops, enchanted by Circe, tempted by the Sirens, chased by Poseidon, washes up naked on beaches, arrives home, his dog dies, he's missed his son grow up and has to kill a house full of blokes trying to shag his wife and you think I should, *checks notes* 'make it a bit more about Helen?'"
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Any U.S. Citizen that wants to cheer on Belgium tonight I’ll be hosting a 9th green at 9 watch party for the match. Please dress nice. Go Belgium!