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One bad relationship with the Mayor and you're exiled from the city... I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU MIKE

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@rwestenhiser I'm sure he's got more than a few of those stashed away...

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@zachbraff THAT USED TO BE MY CORNER!

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First me, now Big Bird? Who's next, Big Mac?? THE BIG DISCRIMINATION NEEDS TO STOP!

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@rwestenhiser Tell your classmate to be careful what they say about him. SOMEBODY is a little sensitive...

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That time @MikeBloomberg said an "interracial couple" wasn't good for his image and dumped me FOR THAT SLUT 7UP

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JUST BCUZ I GOT WITH A SIX PACK DOESN'T MAKE U A KEG :'(

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#DescribeYourCrushInOneWord: Spiteful cc: @MikeBloomberg

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;) cc: @kate_middleton @msalisonpill

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@HuffingtonPost I've got tons of great stuff on @MikeBloomberg. ASK AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE ;)

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If I knew I had burpes I would've worn a lid! I'm better now babe, LET ME STAY!!

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@MikeBloomberg, I've been Dr. Pepper spraying all the #OWS protestors for you. Did I do good? DO YOU STILL LOVE ME??

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I'LL LET YOU STRAW DOG ME ON THE SECOND DATE ;)

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@rickygervais I know you like giant Foster's. Can I crash with you now that @MikeBloomberg kicked me out?

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#ILIKEWHEN GUYS FIZZ INSIDE ME ;) xoxo

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My cousin once dated @rickygervais back when he was fat. THEY STILL TALK AND HE DIDN'T BAN HER FROM LONDON.

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@MikeBloomberg once called me "flat" in front of my entire family. ON THANKSGIVING!

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@rwestenhiser He had an affair with that nerd bitch. Bitch has a PHD. Not even a real fuckin doctor...

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Might as well be The "LITTLE" Apple without me... Am I right, @MikeBloomberg??

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Releasing my tell-all story of my relationship with @MikeBloomberg - 50 SHADES OF SPRAY

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IGNORING MY TEXTS @MikeBloomberg?? #ButUGotThatiPhone5Tho