Spirit Spacelines

The Most Affordable Name In Space Travel - The Future is Now! Carry-On Costs Extra

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Excited to offer new flights to Mars with only two layovers in Phoenix and Atlanta!

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

It is truly baffling how many people expect us to have WiFi in space

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

If it’s cool with everyone we’re just gonna orbit a few more times and come back after January 20th

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Just to be clear, nobody has died of covid on our space flights. All our passenger deaths are from cool space stuff like oxygen depletion and what? Oh. Allegedly.

https://t.co/tbTd4fGjbk

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Ask us about our meal options, they’re remarkably easy to recite from memory (there are two, usually)

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Let’s face it - we’re all going to die. Why not do it in space?

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

we flew into the mirror again

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

The hardest part of our job is a toss-up between all the passenger deaths and having to get up early on Thursdays to move all the spaceships because of street cleaning

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Ok it’s not complicated so once again, let’s be clear:

instead of saying “flight,” we say “space.”

For example:

We have one movie as our in-space entertainment option and it is Space starring Denzel Washington.

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

@TeslaRobotic friggin knew it!

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

It is wild how many robots are on Mars they’re just all over that planet

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Probably the best part of seeing Earth from space is telling everyone roughly where your house is

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Apparently we were meant to tell the government we were doing this?

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

After the unfortunate events of last week, we have fired the guy in charge of the cockpit keys

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

On our space flights, WAP stands for “wet ass pillow”, because the pillows we give you are wet for some reason

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Wait did anyone actually make sure Mark knew he was supposed to fly the spaceship today? Come on guys.

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Hey sorry we didn’t tweet at 1pm like usual but we were concentrating on flying in fucking space!

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

Everyone on our staff has a PhD in Aerospace Engineering, but yeah - “stewardess” is fine

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

See now THIS is the right attitude to have when we take you to space

[~~Karen~~ NO MAGA @BluAngel54]

@SpiritSpaceline @MyleswithaY Maybe you could just strap us to a bulkhead?

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

yes, there are a lot of crying babies on board the spaceship for some reason

[Spirit Spacelines @SpiritSpaceline]

In the event of a *water landing*, be thankful - the other option is a *fire landing* and your seat cushion can’t help you in those.