Splanjular FC

Splanjular Football Club Est. 2021

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

https://t.co/u3yXesGKo4
“Splanjular will spit in your mouth 🤌”

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

No player in the division overachieved their xPE (Expected Pies Eaten) in the canteen more than clio extreme 06, with a belly busting accumulation of x13.72 (expected 5.29)

Fat bastard 🔥

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

The striker was unable to respond with a quote, as it was recommended not to disturb him whilst eating his dinner, which he was

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

“Lamb striker Harveyde_02 has been rumoured to have gained weight, increasing his total BMI to overweight, compared to the footballer percentile” - (via @talkSPORT)

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

“Lamb striker Harveyde_02 has been rumoured to have gained weight, increasing his total BMI to overweight, compared to the footballer percentile” - (via @talkSPORT)

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

🔜🔥👀

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

@Bry_Way And you still smell😭🤣🤣🤣

#upthesplanj #coys

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

Despite being the deadest baller on the pitch, no player accumulated more xBMM (Big Mong Moments) than Trachea (4.73) in our last season. Exquisite 🔥

#Upthesplanj #COYS ⚫️🔴

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

“I wouldn’t do it for the money. I feel i’d do it because it would get many 16-24 year olds interested again”

- Florentino Perez on Gay Sex

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

“I wouldn’t do it for the money. I feel i’d do it because it would get many 16-24 year olds interested again”

- Florentino Perez on Gay Sex

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

“Chelsea? They can suck my nuts”

-Florentino Perez after he discovered they had left the ESL

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

“The health levels of many 16-24 year olds are dwindling. It is my job to deliver what is right to them. To put it metaphorically, I need to put the balls in the mouth.”

-Florentino Perez on why he formed the #ESL

#europeansuperleage #FSGOUT #GlazersOut

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

@AaronJ1229 ‘Moe Lester’ ed ???? 😭🤔😳

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

_ days until Florentino Perez is ____

🤔🧐

#UptheSplanj #NoToEuropeanSuperLeague
#FSGOut #GlazersOutWoodwardOut
#KroenkeOut #Perezdeceased

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

🚨Club Announcement🚨

Our owners have announced that they have declined the invitation to have the club featured in the potential European Super League.

Get in lads.
#Vìvafootball #Upthesplanj #AgainstModernFootball 💪

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

@AaronJ1229 I reckon you win because no one else said anything

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

Sexiest baller at the club? 🤔👇

🔴⚫️

#UptheSplanj #COYS

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

@Laurie_mcadam1 Not many people tend to vote for themselves

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

Who’s our least competent baller??

Honest answers please...

#UptheSplanj #COYS

⚫️🔴

[Splanjular FC @Splanjular]

@AaronJ1229 @GriffiIwan Not having that

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

@oscarunwilde You're a fucking cyclist.