Spore Crimes

Spreading spores. Fucking chores

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

@bradleyneowise @Toad I'm just making sure my vehicles are in good shape with some saved gas, getting my still up and running and making sure I'm in good social standing with my farmer friends lol. And guns and boxes of #cannedtuna why not?

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

The timezone you're stuck in with covid

[Sasha @sashaoregon]

When traveling are you drinking in the time zone you’re going or the time zone you’re in?

[mark normand @marknorm]

Man boobs are cigarettes & lady boobs are marijuana. Most people hate man boobs yet they’re allowed everywhere - lady boobs are fun & not harmful yet still mostly criminalized

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

If that's true I def have adhd

[Toad @Oroborous2]

I'm getting ads for enlarged prostate stuff. Should I go get checked out?

The ads know something.

[Duncan Trussell @duncantrussell]

With the money Elon Musk used to buy twitter he could have created a moon sized ball of ketamine and placed it in orbit around the earth.

[Polar Picks @PoppinPolar]

Did you guys see Will Smith slapped Chris Rock?

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

travel plan's for later

[Doug Stanhope @DougStanhope]

@TimJDillon Wrong.

The best 16 cities are...

Truth or Consequences, NM

Garth, ND

Carpel's Tunnel, TN

Allen Havey, FL

Shenanigan, WI

Lick Skillet, GA

Fingers Point, AK

and...

BAAAAAH HAAABAH, ME

[GoliathFan1952 @ByYourLogic]

DC natives should get extra rights, not less. if you were born there and you’re just a normal person and have to share your city with federally elected officials and think tanks, you should be allowed to operate a casino in your backyard, own an F/A-18, and freebase on the bus

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

Found em

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

Do we know what Tiktok dance helps fight the Russians yet?

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

Simple don't need to be greased - Billy Joe Shaver

[Woody Fuller 🌱 @WoodyFuller]

"Simple is nearly always better. But if it's going to be complicated, then make sure the problem is worth the complexity. A great deal of time is wasted creating complex solutions to relatively unimportant problems."

–@JamesClear

[I'm Jeff 🍺 @fyvie2]

This is it guys. The pinnacle of the internet. We've done it! Pack it up, it's over.

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

We can achieve anything if others would stop being assholes.

[Duncan Trussell @duncantrussell]

“We’re all on a spaceship and our lives are movies the ship projects into our brains so that they don’t atrophy during suspended animation.” Elvis Presley

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

@Oregonian somewhere to go be fucked up on illegal substances that isn't a rave or the park

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

@autogynefiles Better than NAWGLA

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

Do we know what Tiktok dance helps fight the Russians yet?

[Kim Congdon @kimberlycongdon]

Why do kids breath so loud into cups when they drink

[Spore Crimes @SporeCrimes]

Does it ever stop? How can I harness this energy to help me get to work on time?
#perpetualmotionmachine #pokimane