Springfield Shopper

Over the years the Shopper merged with the Springfield Times, Post, Globe, Herald, Jewish News and Hot Sex Weekly to become Springfield’s number one newspaper.

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HO. J. SIMPSON TRIAL STARTS TODAY

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Should we relaunch the Springfield Herald or Hot Sex Weekly?

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LISA’S A TOTAL WACKO, IMPLIES FATHER

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BURNS PLANS SUNSHINE HALT

Special section: Your guide to perpetual darkness

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TODAY WE REMEMBER MARTIN LUTHER KING

- Tomorrow we don’t

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BIG FAT MAN HAS BIG FAT HEART

- Little thin man accused in robbery

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CRAZED MOM GOES TOPLESS
- Photos pages 3-28
#tomorrowspaperstoday

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QUEEN TO MAYOR: YOU’RE NEXT

- Nerds pummelled in football melee

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SIMPSONS SCAM SPRINGFIELD

- Angry mob mulls options

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WOMAN WEDS APE

- Dick Cavett born

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SQUIRREL RESEMBLING ABRAHAM LINCOLN FOUND

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BUMBLEBEE MAN CAUGHT IN STING

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HUMAN BLIMP SEES FLYING SAUCER

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HELMS CALLS FOR DONUT TAX

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PRESIDENT SIMPSON WINS SUPER BOWL

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NAHASAPEEMAPETILAN-TASTIC!

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TOP COP SURRENDERS TO BACKFIRING CAR

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LOCAL MAN LOSES PANTS, LIFE

- Beaver rescue falls short

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SIMPSON WINS IN LANDSLIDE

- Says ‘crazy promises’ the key