Residential has been getting better!
Although I feel a bit of guilt and anxiety because we had pad thai. I’ve been in like a honeymoon phase for recovery and this is the first time i’ve felt anxiety about eating that was more than just a tiny bit since i got here :/
Smth thats helped me while in recovery is thinking of calories the same way I do with macros.
Calories ≠ fat gain, bad, limits
Calories = energy, fuel, sustenance
in the same way:
Protein =. muscle repair/ recovery
Carbs = energy, neuro function
Fats = hormone regulation
Today so far has been hard, I feel nauseous because of anxiety. I’m anxious because my chest has been hurting and I keep having to be checked and now my stomach sort of hurts. I’m scared that it’s because i’m eating more. but i can’t go back to restricting ahggg
The feeling of waking up and feel excited for another day of recovery is so amazing.
I know it’s only my third day so the hard parts are yet to truly hit me but this feel of being able to relax and be able to experience true joy again is amazing.
Good day so far today but will be challenging a fear food today…
i’m nervous for this one despite trying other fear foods already. Most of the ones i tried i didn’t even think twice about (except dressing with oil) but this one is scary. I’m having a little trouble with body-
@eunariite I’m not sure if you mean too much in the ed way or if i just was too much for your liking but if it is the first i hope you know there is never too much!! Joy and good happiness can’t be measured by any number!!
anyone who tells you your ed will give you anything positive that will last is lying, you may feel slight temporary joy but that is nothing compared to the pain and hurt your ed will cause you both while active and while in recovery
really struggling with the fact that i have to be in residential for multiple weeks to possible months. I wish I could just do PHP from morning til night then go home to sleep at least
i’m struggling with the good times because i used to eat a little bit each hour but now I wait like 3 hours for a decent snack or meal. I feel like i don’t belong here and I honestly don’t want to have to be here for too long but they said it can vary from 2-6 months for some…
first day of residential update:
it actually isn’t bad i almost feel fake because im not having trouble finishing my meals and I finished before everyone but i also feel like its because i know i wont see changes to my body much from just a few days. Although-