Squitter

“Hey, you want a coke?” *beep beep*

[Squitter @Squitter15]

We really thought the moon was made of cheese?

[Squitter @Squitter15]

I went to the doctor to see if I was fat and the doctor said I was a beast

[Squitter @Squitter15]

It takes a special type of ugly to be a basketball player

[Squitter @Squitter15]

Nobody cares about your bracket

[Squitter @Squitter15]

Each CrunchWrap Supreme is built like a house of cards

[Squitter @Squitter15]

While you’ve blowing backs out, I’ve been blowing the toes off of my Nike Dri-Fit socks

[Squitter @Squitter15]

@RobDenim69 Regular sized watermelon btw

[Squitter @Squitter15]

@RobDenim69 Regular size coffee btw

[Squitter @Squitter15]

IT JUST HAPPENED

[Squitter @Squitter15]

I want a stranger to refer to me as “Big Dog”, just one time

[Squitter @Squitter15]

Love when I bring Pepsi to the function and everyone goes crazy

[Squitter @Squitter15]

My Uber driver is eating corn on the cob when we come to a stop

[Squitter @Squitter15]

My public indecency charges just expired. Let’s party

[Squitter @Squitter15]

Farted so hard I just cracked my back

[Squitter @Squitter15]

When is Costco gonna start selling medical ganj?

[Squitter @Squitter15]

Do old people know we can hear you humming?

[Squitter @Squitter15]

guy who watches Secret Lives of Mormon Wives to learn more about mormonism

[Squitter @Squitter15]

Go Birds

[Squitter @Squitter15]

When your dentist doesn’t give you enough water to swish with so you hire Matilda, from the movie “Matilda”, to sit in a tree outside his house and start throwing objects around with her mind

[Squitter @Squitter15]

MOLLY WOP