Sr. WH Official(fmr)

A (former) senior White House official. 'As he waved goodbye, he said "Don't you cry, I'll be back in power someday."'

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

You can't hashtag #5150 either, so Twitter got that right at least.

[Rep. Jack Kimble @RepJackKimble]

Wow! I never noticed you couldn't hashtag #1984 before. Don't forget it was a great Van Halen album before it became a book.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

The idea that Donald Trump attended (and possibly flunked out of) the François Duvalier Memorial School of Government and Civics was not supposed to be literally true.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

Apparently the Trump team hasn't been able to coordinate much of a response today, what with Slack being down and all.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

@DanaHoule @HumanityCritic Battlefield Earth, though.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

Yellowred the Unready, lacking good counsel and preparation, was not prepared for this turn of events.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

There are a lot of people out there who spent their high school/college years wearing hair shirts and sitting on a cold church pew for hours every day praying.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

The Chewbacca Defense, in Presidential press conference form.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

Yes, everything is terrible. In the hope it might make you fell better, here's Government Surveillance Kitteh oppressing a US citizen.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

Once you understand that Republican social policies are based on "Ewwww", everything becomes much clearer.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

Trump bans trans folk from serving in the military. On a related note, I'd give my left leg to see his Pornhub browsing history.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

<downfall_hitler_parody.mp4> https://t.co/PkT1fC1UxK

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

Let's dispel the myth that Donald Trump has a goddamn clue what he should be doing (or what's even appropriate).

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

Papa Trump's ambition to be a tin pot dictator isn't going as smoothly as he hoped.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

"Surety you crave! Trump gives none. If you sue for his clemency then you must do his bidding."

https://t.co/pXkHe74jA7

[Vice President Mike Pence Archived @VP45]

Know this – @POTUS Donald Trump will sign into law the most consequential tax cut in American history.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

A tall and evil shape, … his name is remembered in no tale, for he himself had forgotten it.

"I am the Mouth of Sauron," he tweeted. https://t.co/pXkHe74jA7

[Vice President Mike Pence Archived @VP45]

Know this – @POTUS Donald Trump will sign into law the most consequential tax cut in American history.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

"The bears should pay the bear tax! I pay the Homer tax." https://t.co/y0BSO7Son2

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

This is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

First as tragedy, then as farce. Then, a rom-com. Then, Choose Your Own Adventure. Later, historical fiction. Now, bad fanfic.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

Mark my words: Tomorrow the Trump WH will do something terrible that everyone will assume is the media making an April Fools' Day joke.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

If we had a Ten Commandments monument outside the Senate chambers, Sessions would have remembered that whole "bearing false witness" thing.

[Sr. WH Official(fmr) @SrWHOfficial]

The WH's next statement will be that Sessions *only* secretly met with the Russian Ambassador to discuss concerns about Moose and Squirrel.