Staggering Blows

Staggering Blows about the head and neck can only be stopped by Kung Fu. Now conducting gross libel in pun form!

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Cool. Yeah more 90s song parodies about the changing nature of the HRE power structure is definitely what we need guys.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Fredrick V be like:
(Tune = Sublime - Doin' time)
Me and my electors, we got this relationship
trying to hold on to central power, but they ain't having it
circumscribed like a plenipotentiary
They send their own delegates to Westphalia- got me feeling wary.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

If you wanna practice anthropology, best first brush up on your ethnography, Melanesia know how we do. (Hey Bronislaw Malinowski!)
Wanna understand exchange and reciprocity, participant observation's what you need, New Guinea you know it's true. (Hey Bronislaw Malinowski!)

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

:Sing to the tune of the Beetles:
You never give me your money
So I orchestrate expropriation
It causes ethical complications
Unity breaks dooooown.

https://t.co/6YJFGuS0GK

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Review: Thought I was going to see the founding document of British Liberty but instead it was just pictures of guys with swords fighting in a language I didn't understand. I guess the art was ok. 1 star out of 5.
Edit: Have been informed that this was Manga Carta. My bad.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

"I tried to go out that door and it was full of weird long-necked birds?"
"Yeah that's the egret egress. Don't use that one."

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Some people look up into the night sky and see things that define their principles. American judges just see stare decisis.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Cotillion enthusiasts in the American colonies were way into that metropole-dancing.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Yo Yo Yo. This holiday season I'm going traditional family Christmas, but to the extreme. Like one part Rankin/Bass and more part Crank The Bass. Know what I'm sayin'?

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

“You know these noise producers ain’t keeping it real.”
“Yeah man, they’re straight Mlada Frontin’”

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

My rhymes deadly like a lyrical cassowary, adjust faith like a spiritual actuary.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Tyra Banks, deciding to withdraw from the materialistic world has become a monk, sitting in meditation against a statue of Siddhārtha Gautama. She’s gone from booty tooching to Buddha touching.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

I’m sad I didn’t take any neurobiology courses with Stanley Prusiner while at UC Berkeley. It would have been pretty cool to meet the scion of prions.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

What was that opera we watched the other night about the dude who wouldn’t cut the General’s hair? The barber of civilians?

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

I swear, every time I join an esoteric order it disbands. I damn so many lodges they should call me a beaver.

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Saturn be throwing side eye at Earth like "Whatever, pale blue THOT..."

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

S: "So um where are we going?"
B: "*RIGHT INTO THE DANGER ZONE.*"
S: "And where exactly is that?"
B: "You take the *THE HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE*, and get off at exit 3. It will be just on the left. Can't miss it, it's got a big sign."

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

It would be a shame if something were to happen to those boxes of thin mints you have stashed away. For a reasonable fee, my associates and I can make sure they're nice and safe. #cookiemobsters

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Here he comes, here comes speed racer, he’s a demon of wheels....and eyes...and wings....he’s more of an angel actually. “FEAR NOT!”

[Staggering Blows @StaggeringBlows]

Note to self: they are called ‘Dental Technicians’ not ‘Flosstitutes’.