Real Johnnie Stalker

If you wanna find Johnnie, he is at the pub every evening from 6pm. If Johnnie wants to find you, he will.

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

Me trying to save Sunday from the inevitable end.
#SundayFunday #notsomuch

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

Creepy people don't know they're creepy. I know I'm creepy therefore I'm not creepy. #truestory #stalker #SaturdayMotivation

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

how I treat my liver.
#mondaythoughts

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

I see people being all happy and smiley like they don't know tomorrow it's Monday. And these people think I'm the weirdo.
#SundaySucks

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

"Sure it was a coincedence, how would I know where you live"
#SaturdayMood #creepyAF

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

Another name for Thursdays:
#ThursdayThoughts

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

those moments of clarity
#IntellectualStalker #ThursdayThoughts #DrunkReflections

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

Stalkers in London be like:
#WednesdayMotivation #StalkerProblems

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

When you try to stalk but you're drunk AF so you're basically standing in front of someone and staring at them.
#TuesdayThoughts

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

When life gives you lemons pretend they're fries. That's my secret to happiness 🤪
#TuesdayThoughts #StalkerWisdom

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

crush: Look, you're a nice guy...
me:

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

I'm going for drinks, wanna cum?
#ThirstyThursday

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

Just wanna chill and do nothing. Stalkers have needs too.
#Mood #WednesdayNight #lazy_night

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

Being creepy takes a lot of talent and hard work.
@J_J_Nicholson
#WednesdayWisdom #stalker_facts

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

I hate Mondays. Almost as much as I hate security cameras.
#MondayBlues #stalker_problems

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

My plans for tonight. @SmirnoffEurope
#Halloween2017 #SundayChillOutZone

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

I love Halloween. You may be a drunk stalker and still not the creepiest person in the pub 😎
#Halloween2017 #sundayfeeling

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

Amateurs.
#SundayMorning #stalker_problems

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

When you stalk someone but then her husband shows up. In his police uniform.
#SaturdayThoughts #stalker_problems

[Real Johnnie Stalker @StalkerJohnnie]

My shrink says: to fix a broken heart, start with fixing some drinks. I can't believe they wouldn't give him a licence. #FridayFeeling