Stvn Smth

It's not a cult, mum. They're my friends.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

I make fried eggs in the microwave in a ramekin. I sprinkle it with shit and it looks fancy as fuck.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

https://t.co/sA0lTThBTq 😊😊 give it a little look.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Kanye is finished. Discuss, or dont. I dont care. Last 2 albums have been slapdash. Sad.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Life tip: go to the pub with only 25% battery to ensure you don't get too fucked.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

@MrNishKumar I don't know if you're looking for a new profile picture at all, but, you know.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

9.9m for a Banksy? The transfer window has gone mad.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

What is a Thom Yorke?

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Who started abbreviating porn? Double penetration into DP, who is in that much of a rush to masturbate they needed to abbreviate?

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Never asked a man to suck my dick but Thomas Cook I will.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Morbid thought of the day: how many not-yet-found dead people do you think Postmen/women deliver to a day?

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Genuine podcast idea. Going through the craziest rules in sport. 'Rules Shmules'.

Ep 1. Chests in Chess. Women may only have “the second from the top button” open during any chess competition.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

@louis_farquhar @NevBear @bet365 It's an absolute goalfest today too. What are the odds? Pun very much intended.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

@bet365 Long time lads.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

@bet365 1 goal away and no chance to use your wonderful cash out feature. You owe a lot of people money already I bet.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Football. Vardy, a lifelong Wednesday fan. Beautiful.

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

#pornbooks

Oliver Jizzed
A Tale of Two Titties
A Handjobs Tale
To Drill a Mockingbird

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

@mattsinger The Men Who Stare At Goats 😴😴

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

@PigsAndPlans DIPS8! DIPS8!

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Okay.

Is Frank Ocean's Pyramids this generations Bohemian Rhapsody?

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

Had 3 people collapse on me yesterday so I was over the moon with my new fragrance until some party pooper pointed out it was probably dehydration from the heat. #watergoodfragrancebetter

[Stvn Smth @Standard_Steven]

That's some after 2am talk right there.