Stanford Police

protect and preserve. no peril no perish. 94305 o block or no block.

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

I'm so lonely I eat hummus alone in my house

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

@LydonLinda @StanfordBEAM That's right Linda. We Keep your suns in and nuns out

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

@phill_iver Ahahahahahhahahahahahahah

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

How am I expected to talk about my dick to women like wow look it's my penis it's here it's wow? Of course not I'd ask them to really take

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

You know the biggest problem with drugs? I do them.

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

No seriously it keeps me going it's all about the experience of thinking about existence and survival as method concepts it's what I do rly

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

I'll tell you the problem with drugs. Drugs aren't meant for not chill people. And work is for not chill people. So drugs are not for work.

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

Your hindsight is 20 20 my foreskin make your bitch sing

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

You take your girl to the florist I take her to sephora

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

Fuck me while we listen to an audiobook of doors of perception read aloud by chris Nolan

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

I usually only realize how high I am when I'm chilling with sober people

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

@RafaelDeals you got a plug for the mayweather mcgregor game tonight?

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

So what's the deal huh like does it not show up if girls look at your day on Facebook

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

I occasionally fix cricket matches

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

@legwarp Only if you wear nothing but them heels

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

Me to bint- tell me how much you make a year and I'll tell you how long I take to make it in your ear bint - *whatever* me in her ear -

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

The thing with times is: you either have things to say for them, have something to say about them or say nothing at all. All great times

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

Data proves Sales of gelato double during rush week

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

Polo to the floor fuck a Tom ford

[Stanford Police @StanfordPolice]

Roley over Michael kors