Star Wars Problems

It ain't easy living a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Parody account.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Rey: What do I need to be like you?

Luke: More patience and fewer hands.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Leia: Luke, you missed so many important moments in my life.

Luke: Just like dad.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Kylo: *cuts Snoke in half* Sorry you had to split! Get it?

Rey: I only like you as a friend.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Leia: There's no way to shake this pursuit.

Poe: Split up. They're only tracking us from one ship.

Leia: No way at all.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Engineer: Maybe we should make the next Death Star without a weak point that makes it all blow up.

Snoke: *throws him out a window*

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Han: I made the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs.

Luke: Last time you said 11.

Han: I meant 10.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Yoda: *dies and fades away*

Luke: *frantically looks for his life insurance policy*

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

[victory fireworks]

Mon Mothma: The Empire is defeated. Rebuild the Republic.

Accountant: We can't. We blew our whole budget on fireworks.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

There's nothing harder than burying a beloved pet.

Except maybe fitting a dead rancor in a shoe box.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

C-3PO: I know six million forms of communication. You just beep at people.

R2: Beep boop beep.

C-3PO: Yet somehow you're the social one...

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Obi-wan: I'm a ghost now. I'm more powerful than ever.

Luke: What can you do?

Obi-wan: Give occasional advice. Maybe stand around a fire.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Yoda: Tempted by the Dark Side, are you?

Luke: That depends. Do Sith apprentices have to give piggyback rides?

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Vader: I'm altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.

Lando: *prays*

Vader: I'm not altering it any further.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Obi-wan: You've joined the Dark Side!

Anakin: That's offensive! We prefer to call ourselves the light-impaired.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Emperor: Did Luke join us?

Vader: No

Emporer: What did you say to him?

Vader: Not much. Just cut off his hand

Emperor: I see the problem

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

[escaping the Death Star trash compactor]

Luke: I think we learned something today.

Han: Yeah. Recycle.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Yoda: You can't beat Vader alone

Luke: Then come with me

Yoda: 2-on-1 isn't fair

Luke: Fight him by yourself

Yoda: Sorry. All booked up.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Luke: What have you been doing in this swamp for all these years?

Yoda: Meditating.

Luke:

Yoda: Netflix.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Vader: Join me as my apprentice!

Luke: But then it would be my job to kill you and take your place.

Vader: I didn't think this through.

[Star Wars Problems @StarWarsProblms]

Vader: *uses the Force to retrieve Luke's missing hand* You dropped something.