Kevin Turner

Peaked in middle school.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Leeks. Green onions. Chives. The Russian Nesting Dolls of vegetables.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

The Criterion Closet, but instead of DVDs, it's full of discontinued breakfast cereals from the 80s and 90s.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

That sound Lando makes when the sarlacc grabs his ankle.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Life Hack: Rescue a dog and name him Shen Yun. You get a new best friend and if he ever gets lost, there will be plenty of posters up.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

@philpirkovic All things in time.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

I have no idea what the Mystery Spot is, but I do know they sell bumper stickers there.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Hot Pockets are just empanadas for Nebraska.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Still waiting for a gang with Lime scooters to roll up on a gang with Bird scooters like some SF version of Westside Story.

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

Even the owner of the Trail Blazers, Paul Allen, couldn't believe Steph Curry. https://t.co/go89j64oCB

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Warriors #Playoffs #Game1 Check me on TV. I'm the dude in the yellow shirt.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Have some. https://t.co/qecWj6S9FF

[Jameson Whiskey @jamesonwhiskey]

Introducing our new cologne, Barrelman for Men—a floral fragrance, peppered with spicy wood and sweet notes.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

@milesbeyond New side project of yours? http://t.co/v231tSyGWB

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Fergie peed her pants.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

I voted for Lay's Southern Biscuits & Gravy @ http://t.co/vxJURxF4gQ. Vote now to save this flavor. #VoteBiscuits #TroyBurrows

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Seeing a person in a neck brace is like seeing a dog with a cone on its head. You feel bad for them, but it's also kinda funny.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Just saw Harrison Barnes enjoying an ice cream sundae in Uptown Oakland.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

All these cool kids running around with their Fitbits and their Apple Watches. I don't need a wristband to tell me I have man boobs.

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

@M_Galla You wrote the best Craigslist post I've ever read. #ShoutOutDay

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Hope the healing process isn't Everlong. #SignDavesCast

[Kevin Turner @SteelTrapTurner]

Duck Problems https://t.co/tFDLkGukxJ