Dwayne Rock The Johnson

I have two assets, my truck and my Panerai

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

@davschleechler No they didn’t!

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

They burn tf outta the bean at my office

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

You gotta be a real fat to take the elevator up a single floor

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

I really had to go

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

@chooserich A face only a mother could love

[Alex @sanpellyenjoyer]

>post weekly for 5+ years
>blow up
>leave YouTube permanently
>post one more video boiling a dead walrus’s head

Greatest Living American

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

Apology accepted

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

Totally forgot Justin Long went to jail for that horrible drunk driving accident… Accepted was a good movie though

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

I’m scared to go to sleep bec I just watched coralline #26yearsold

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

If you have a big penis you are NOT my friend

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

Lou Gehrig such an asshole for spreading that terrible disease around

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

JP Morgan (Jiant Penis Morgan)

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

@BiggaBen214 Stop doing this?

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

Anyone know what kinda tortoise this is? His name is Slive Francis Gilliam (SFG for short).

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

I heard Fred Figglehorn is constipated and also uncirced (uncut penis)

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

Can’t believe the fat kid from ICarly had crohns (poop) disease. That’s why he acted like that, in the show.

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

@davschleechler

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

High credit tenant with no representation is a landlords wet dream

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

@BiggaBen214 Size matters tho

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

Who wins in a street fight?

[Dwayne Rock The Johnson @StendoDwayne]

It has come to my attention that some of my friends are, in fact, wiping their ass back to front - TOWARD the taint and balls. There is more than one saying this. I have to know, are my friends as insane and gross as I think or are their others…?